A joke

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

A couple comes up to a wishing well. The guy leans over, makes a wish, and throws in a penny. His wife decides to make a wish, too, but she leans over too far, falls into the well, and drowns. The guy says, "Wow, it really works."

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

There was once this couple that had been married for a long time, but could never get along very well. Many times, late at night there would be screams and shouts from their house. One day the old man said, I'm sick and tired of you. When I die, I will come
out of my grave to haunt you.

After this, the old guy started practicing black magic. All the disappearances of people, cats, dogs, etc. were blamed on him. At the age of 80 the old guy dies, and his wife puts him in a casket.

Later that night, she goes to the bar and parties as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbor comes up to her and says, Aren't you scared that the old guy will
dig up and haunt you?

The old lady calmly replied, Eh, let him keep digging. I put the casket the
other way around.

 

[Anon2]

I like the one about the casket. Classic!

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

I'll post others as soon as I can get my hands on em, ey

 

[lord_of_darkness]

sweet bro :P

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

I get em viua email, and they send it out at any old time, ey

 

[lord_of_darkness]

can u forward it to me plz??

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

I'll see, I'll see...

 

[Neil Pickup]

Why don't you tell him that mailing list so that he can subscribe to it as well?

 

[lord_of_darkness]

true that...

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

Top Ten Signs A Redneck Has Been Using Your Computer

10. The monitor is up on blocks.

9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.

8. The six front keys have rotted out.

7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.

6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.

5. The password is "Bubba".

4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.

3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder (CD-ROM drive).

2. The keyboard is camouflaged.

AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

Things we wonder why.......
......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place

......do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

 

[FrontierPsychiartrist]

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank younote to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money,
however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.