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BarStar: Charity Tournament for all 20:20 Captains
- Thread starter HeathDavisSpeed
- Start date
superkingdave
Well-known member
Gray just no good with the ladies it seems..
Go Goughy!
Go Goughy!
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
The second round of BarStar fixtures saw a total thrashing in one tie, and a nailbiter in the second.
In the first matchup in Division Two, Kingsley Clapham took on pre-Tournament favourite, David Boon and quickly found himself out of his depth. Clapham's lack of prowess behind the pumps could not be compensated with the fact he turned up with his own trolley of bar cleaning fluids - preprepared for extra speed. Whilst Clapham was wiping down the bar surfaces and providing each customer with a beer mat to place their badly poured pint upon, Boon was regailing each customer with his tales of drunken exploits in the Tasmanian Bush whilst simultaneously completing a successful pour.
In desperation, Clapham turned away from drinks service and plouged his resources into the available skirt - and showed significant success in this area. Sadly, it was too late, and a late ditch, desperate attempt to pour some cocktails only succeeded in significant damage to the glasswear and it looking as if he'd wet his pants.
In the second game of the evening, the host for the evening, Heath Davis took on the Ninjas' captain, Greg Thomas. If the crowds had been disappointed by the earlier game, this was to prove worth the admission money. With a strongly partisan crowd behind him, Davis took the early honours, managing to make the outline of a Fardingham Cockatoo in the head of the first pint of Guinness poured. In contrast, Thomas made an early error by attempting an ambitious cocktail, which ended up staining the carpet - fortunately, Kingsley Clapham was still at the bar, and was able to prevent permanent damage.
As the evening wore on, Davis and Thomas engaged the crowd with rapid fire story telling, each competitor trying to outdo the other. As the session entered its last hour, Davis was narrowly ahead - by as few as 8 points. Critically, Davis was distracted by a phone call from his land lord in Ouagadougou and poured the only duff pint of the whole bout, scoring a big minus five in the process whilst Thomas had signed up a new member for the Fardingham Cricket Club. This drew things level with only a short time left to play.
An attempt by Davis to score big points by throwing out Upper Body troublemaker, Darren Murphy did score him five points, but the process took a significant amount of time whilst Murphy attempted to sweet talk him into remaining in the bar. During this time, Thomas was able to obtain the undivided attention of all bar patrons and built up a small, but significant lead.
As the final whistle went, Thomas had held the lead - victorious by a paltry 18 points.
In the first matchup in Division Two, Kingsley Clapham took on pre-Tournament favourite, David Boon and quickly found himself out of his depth. Clapham's lack of prowess behind the pumps could not be compensated with the fact he turned up with his own trolley of bar cleaning fluids - preprepared for extra speed. Whilst Clapham was wiping down the bar surfaces and providing each customer with a beer mat to place their badly poured pint upon, Boon was regailing each customer with his tales of drunken exploits in the Tasmanian Bush whilst simultaneously completing a successful pour.
In desperation, Clapham turned away from drinks service and plouged his resources into the available skirt - and showed significant success in this area. Sadly, it was too late, and a late ditch, desperate attempt to pour some cocktails only succeeded in significant damage to the glasswear and it looking as if he'd wet his pants.
In the second game of the evening, the host for the evening, Heath Davis took on the Ninjas' captain, Greg Thomas. If the crowds had been disappointed by the earlier game, this was to prove worth the admission money. With a strongly partisan crowd behind him, Davis took the early honours, managing to make the outline of a Fardingham Cockatoo in the head of the first pint of Guinness poured. In contrast, Thomas made an early error by attempting an ambitious cocktail, which ended up staining the carpet - fortunately, Kingsley Clapham was still at the bar, and was able to prevent permanent damage.
As the evening wore on, Davis and Thomas engaged the crowd with rapid fire story telling, each competitor trying to outdo the other. As the session entered its last hour, Davis was narrowly ahead - by as few as 8 points. Critically, Davis was distracted by a phone call from his land lord in Ouagadougou and poured the only duff pint of the whole bout, scoring a big minus five in the process whilst Thomas had signed up a new member for the Fardingham Cricket Club. This drew things level with only a short time left to play.
An attempt by Davis to score big points by throwing out Upper Body troublemaker, Darren Murphy did score him five points, but the process took a significant amount of time whilst Murphy attempted to sweet talk him into remaining in the bar. During this time, Thomas was able to obtain the undivided attention of all bar patrons and built up a small, but significant lead.
As the final whistle went, Thomas had held the lead - victorious by a paltry 18 points.
Mr Mxyzptlk
Well-known member
Shattered. Losing to Gough is marginally better than losing to Smith though.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Points Tables
DIVISION ONE:
DIVISION TWO:
DIVISION ONE:
Code:
W L D Pf Pa Net Points Pts
M. Reddlapalli 1 0 0 356 302 54 3
K. Gough 1 0 0 183 140 43 3
L. Camps 0 1 0 140 183 -43 0
J. Gray 0 1 0 302 356 -54 0
Code:
W L D Pf Pa Net Points Pts
D. Boon 1 0 0 329 140 189 3
G. Thomas 1 0 0 370 352 18 3
H. Davis 0 1 0 352 370 -18 0
K. Clapham 0 1 0 140 329 -189 0
Goughy
Well-known member
High praise
superkingdave
Well-known member
Can anyone beat David Boon? No imo
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Its gonna be tough, that's for sure. My early prediction is that the winner of the tournament will come from Division Two. Geg's win was a good result for him - its a tough way back for those who've lost their first games.
dontcloseyoureyes
BARNES OUT
Long may my victory party continue.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Another round of contrasting styles and results with one match wowing the crowds whilst the other bout turned into a 'clean-off' which saw the lowest attendance figures in BarStar history.
The afternoon match kicked off between Liam Camps and Jamee Gray with low anticipation. Both players had been defeated in the first round whilst showing quite defensive bar tending styles. The match failed to reach an interesting pace, with the extra experience of Camps behind the pumps proving the difference between the two players - Camps pouring 3 perfect pints in the time that it would take Gray to pour one.
Gray once again attempted to compensate by the pouring of cocktails, but sadly due to the low attendance, the demand for these was low. In another disappointment, both players failed to provide any amusement to the local female population, many of whom walked off mid match.
Camps romped away in the end, but the scoreline fails to reflect how dismal this match was. The result leaves Gray falling out at the first hurdle of this year's competition, whilst Camps will have to improve the standard to defeat Reddlapalli in the last round of matches to progress to the semi final.
In contrast, the match between Gough and Reddlapalli proved to be an all-action nailbiter. Thankfully scheduled for the evening session, the bar rapidly filled in the hour between the completion of the previous round and the start of this match up.
Once again, Gough neglected the beer pumps - only successfully serving 5 drinks all night. He also managed to score an early 5 pointer by spotting Jamee Gray in the crowd and having him thrown out for being under age. Gough had also been given free rein by his missus for the evening that in order to win the competition, he could go out and chat up as many ladies as he could. The release of energy saw Gough break all chat-up records, successfully obtaining 31 phone numbers over the course of the evening.
In contrast, Reddlapalli showed a different sort of game, wowing the crowds by telling tall tales whilst pouring pints; at one point managing to successfully mix a cocktail whilst pouring a pint. Sadly for Reddlapalli, Gough was succeeding in elbowing him away from the peripheral bar facilities, ensuring that Gough sold all access to the pool table. In the end, convincing a patron into a bet that saw him have to invest in playing the Spin Doctors' 1990s classic, Two Princes three times in succession saw him gain the lead which would give him a classic victory.
The afternoon match kicked off between Liam Camps and Jamee Gray with low anticipation. Both players had been defeated in the first round whilst showing quite defensive bar tending styles. The match failed to reach an interesting pace, with the extra experience of Camps behind the pumps proving the difference between the two players - Camps pouring 3 perfect pints in the time that it would take Gray to pour one.
Gray once again attempted to compensate by the pouring of cocktails, but sadly due to the low attendance, the demand for these was low. In another disappointment, both players failed to provide any amusement to the local female population, many of whom walked off mid match.
Camps romped away in the end, but the scoreline fails to reflect how dismal this match was. The result leaves Gray falling out at the first hurdle of this year's competition, whilst Camps will have to improve the standard to defeat Reddlapalli in the last round of matches to progress to the semi final.
In contrast, the match between Gough and Reddlapalli proved to be an all-action nailbiter. Thankfully scheduled for the evening session, the bar rapidly filled in the hour between the completion of the previous round and the start of this match up.
Once again, Gough neglected the beer pumps - only successfully serving 5 drinks all night. He also managed to score an early 5 pointer by spotting Jamee Gray in the crowd and having him thrown out for being under age. Gough had also been given free rein by his missus for the evening that in order to win the competition, he could go out and chat up as many ladies as he could. The release of energy saw Gough break all chat-up records, successfully obtaining 31 phone numbers over the course of the evening.
In contrast, Reddlapalli showed a different sort of game, wowing the crowds by telling tall tales whilst pouring pints; at one point managing to successfully mix a cocktail whilst pouring a pint. Sadly for Reddlapalli, Gough was succeeding in elbowing him away from the peripheral bar facilities, ensuring that Gough sold all access to the pool table. In the end, convincing a patron into a bet that saw him have to invest in playing the Spin Doctors' 1990s classic, Two Princes three times in succession saw him gain the lead which would give him a classic victory.
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Cricket Web Content Updater
Damit.
Mr Mxyzptlk
Well-known member
I'm stunning. The commentators don't do me justice.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Another day and another BarStar to sink your teeth into.
In a first match of contrasting fortunes, Clapham was demolished by a rampant Davis. Clapham was not aided by an injury early on in his tie making it nearly impossible to either pour a pint or scrub the bar surface. At no point was Clapham in the tie; finishing on the lowest ever total scored in BarStar, and only marginally breaking even. To his credit though, Clapham managed to finish the match and not withdraw through injury; ensuring the crowd at least got their money's worth. If Davis was disappointing in his loss first up to Thomas, then he was unstoppable in this match - and will need to replicate this form to defeat David Boon and progress to the semi finals. In particular, Davis broke all cocktail pouring records whilst also telling tall tales and serving a solid number of pints.
The points differential should assist Davis in progressing to the next round.
In the second match, Thomas proved to be a stern examination for crowd and tournament favourite, David Boon. In fact, Thomas had ample opportunity to pulling of a stunning victory until the pressure got to him in the last hour of play, causing the spillage of several pints and cocktails. Thomas proved to be Boon's match in chatting up the laideez and in fact out-told Boon in the anecdotes stakes. Another failing of Thomas, however, was his inability to spot the underage drinkers - even serving up a bottle of methylated spirits to Morgan Burridge at one point. Falling to defeat by a mere 42 points has given Thomas the succour to believe that he can win the tournament, and with a game against the demoralised Kingsley Clapham up next, progression is virtually assured.
In a first match of contrasting fortunes, Clapham was demolished by a rampant Davis. Clapham was not aided by an injury early on in his tie making it nearly impossible to either pour a pint or scrub the bar surface. At no point was Clapham in the tie; finishing on the lowest ever total scored in BarStar, and only marginally breaking even. To his credit though, Clapham managed to finish the match and not withdraw through injury; ensuring the crowd at least got their money's worth. If Davis was disappointing in his loss first up to Thomas, then he was unstoppable in this match - and will need to replicate this form to defeat David Boon and progress to the semi finals. In particular, Davis broke all cocktail pouring records whilst also telling tall tales and serving a solid number of pints.
The points differential should assist Davis in progressing to the next round.
In the second match, Thomas proved to be a stern examination for crowd and tournament favourite, David Boon. In fact, Thomas had ample opportunity to pulling of a stunning victory until the pressure got to him in the last hour of play, causing the spillage of several pints and cocktails. Thomas proved to be Boon's match in chatting up the laideez and in fact out-told Boon in the anecdotes stakes. Another failing of Thomas, however, was his inability to spot the underage drinkers - even serving up a bottle of methylated spirits to Morgan Burridge at one point. Falling to defeat by a mere 42 points has given Thomas the succour to believe that he can win the tournament, and with a game against the demoralised Kingsley Clapham up next, progression is virtually assured.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Tables
DIVISION ONE:
DIVISION TWO:
DIVISION ONE:
Code:
W L D Pf Pa Net Points Pts
K. Gough 2 0 0 617 535 82 6
L. Camps 1 1 0 610 393 217 3
M. Reddlapalli 1 1 0 751 736 15 3
J. Gray 0 2 0 512 826 -314 0
Code:
W L D Pf Pa Net Points Pts
D. Boon 2 0 0 581 350 231 6
H. Davis 1 1 0 921 385 536 3
G. Thomas 1 1 0 580 604 -24 3
K. Clapham 0 2 0 155 898 -743 0HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
The remaining league games have been simmed and will be up later today. It has to be said, there's a couple of shocking results in there and a surprise early exit for one contestant.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Not much interest in the last set of matches, hopefully a bit more this time around.
Division one
The match of real interest here was the battle between the non-Captains - Camps vs. Reddlapalli, which would decide who would progress with Gough to the next round.
This prompted a rearrangement of the draw, rescheduling the key game for the evening session. This saw Gough kicking off in the early game against the luckless Gray in an expected walk over.
From the start of the tie, Gough appeared to lack interest in the game, spending a significant time reorganising the Fardingham cricket team photographs from seasons past on the wall into a chronological order. Meanwhile, Gray was garnering double-points by cleaning both his own, and Gough's bar of spillages and stains. Gray also wowed the crowd in his final BarStar appearance of the year by shaking his groove with each cocktail mixed, showing exceptional co-ordination and a definate improvement in skill over the course of the tournament. Gray eventually romped home by nearly 50 points, with Gough having preserved his energy for the upcoming semi-final.
If the first match of the day was relaxed, then the second was played under immense pressure. Reddlapalli upped the pressure on Camps early on by intentially knocking a glass of orange juice over Camps' bar just prior to taking up his position. This earned Reddlapalli a torrent of abuse from Camps, as well as a five minute penalty from the referee. The spillage cost Camps a significant amount of time, however, as the orange juice quickly became sticky and congealed over the bar surface. The match was to continue in a similar vein, with Camps receiving a penalty for stuffing a toffee in the coin slot of Reddlapalli's pool table.
Following the completion of his five minute penalty, Reddlapalli served like a man possessed, coupling drinks pouring with some fine anecdotes - a particularly interesting one involving Dick Cheney, some cough medicine and a tazer. He rapidly surged into a lead, whilst Camps' attempted subterfuge failed as he was caught trying to swap the hoses for the lemonade and coca-cola. Reddlapalli emerged at the final whistle victorious by 170 points, giving him a large enough margin to top the division one table. Camps making a disappointed early exit, and both players with an appointment with the BarStar disciplinary tribunal.
Division Two
The early match in Division Two saw Kingsley Clapham looking to show a massive improvement against the in-form Thomas. Sadly for Clapham, although he'd improved his game, his lack of focus on drinks serving again cost him in the overall match. Whilst Clapham cleaned, chatted and obtained phone numbers, Thomas focused on the drinks - serving a decent range of beer, wine, cocktails and spirits. Little interest was shown from Clapham as Thomas built up a handy lead. The eventual result saw Thomas home by 180 points. Clapham didn't go home completely disappointed as he not only successfully obtained a few phone numbers from some female punters, but was seen heading to the Fardingham Motel with a blonde female cricket fan from Queensland who was over in CW Land to watch Andy Bichel and to earn some money as a fruit picker in the vine yards of Davistow.
The second match in division two was now key. Thomas had secured a decent margin over Clapham which now meant that Boon had to defeat Davis in order to progress. If Davis were to win, then given the points differential then Davis would progress with Thomas. As the players entered the arena, it was clear from the first stumbling footsteps that Boon was already considerably drunk. This continued into the first exchanges of the game as Boon proceeded to operate a "one for you, one for me" bar policy. Whilst this scored him a significant number of early points, it meant a dulling of the reactions was seen over the course of the tie. In contrast, Davis appeared focused, continuing the form shown in his record-breaking victory over Clapham in the previous tie.
With an hour left in the match, the scores were level but the drink was starting to take its toll on Boon, who was unable to see the identification of the punters when he asked for it. This saw him serve a spate of underage punters, including the jar of pickled eggs donated by the local fish and chip shop to feed the hungry punters. Davis eased away as the points penalties for Boon racked up. Davis emerging the eventual winner by over a hundred points, and sending the pre-tournament favourite crashing out.
Division one
The match of real interest here was the battle between the non-Captains - Camps vs. Reddlapalli, which would decide who would progress with Gough to the next round.
This prompted a rearrangement of the draw, rescheduling the key game for the evening session. This saw Gough kicking off in the early game against the luckless Gray in an expected walk over.
From the start of the tie, Gough appeared to lack interest in the game, spending a significant time reorganising the Fardingham cricket team photographs from seasons past on the wall into a chronological order. Meanwhile, Gray was garnering double-points by cleaning both his own, and Gough's bar of spillages and stains. Gray also wowed the crowd in his final BarStar appearance of the year by shaking his groove with each cocktail mixed, showing exceptional co-ordination and a definate improvement in skill over the course of the tournament. Gray eventually romped home by nearly 50 points, with Gough having preserved his energy for the upcoming semi-final.
If the first match of the day was relaxed, then the second was played under immense pressure. Reddlapalli upped the pressure on Camps early on by intentially knocking a glass of orange juice over Camps' bar just prior to taking up his position. This earned Reddlapalli a torrent of abuse from Camps, as well as a five minute penalty from the referee. The spillage cost Camps a significant amount of time, however, as the orange juice quickly became sticky and congealed over the bar surface. The match was to continue in a similar vein, with Camps receiving a penalty for stuffing a toffee in the coin slot of Reddlapalli's pool table.
Following the completion of his five minute penalty, Reddlapalli served like a man possessed, coupling drinks pouring with some fine anecdotes - a particularly interesting one involving Dick Cheney, some cough medicine and a tazer. He rapidly surged into a lead, whilst Camps' attempted subterfuge failed as he was caught trying to swap the hoses for the lemonade and coca-cola. Reddlapalli emerged at the final whistle victorious by 170 points, giving him a large enough margin to top the division one table. Camps making a disappointed early exit, and both players with an appointment with the BarStar disciplinary tribunal.
Division Two
The early match in Division Two saw Kingsley Clapham looking to show a massive improvement against the in-form Thomas. Sadly for Clapham, although he'd improved his game, his lack of focus on drinks serving again cost him in the overall match. Whilst Clapham cleaned, chatted and obtained phone numbers, Thomas focused on the drinks - serving a decent range of beer, wine, cocktails and spirits. Little interest was shown from Clapham as Thomas built up a handy lead. The eventual result saw Thomas home by 180 points. Clapham didn't go home completely disappointed as he not only successfully obtained a few phone numbers from some female punters, but was seen heading to the Fardingham Motel with a blonde female cricket fan from Queensland who was over in CW Land to watch Andy Bichel and to earn some money as a fruit picker in the vine yards of Davistow.
The second match in division two was now key. Thomas had secured a decent margin over Clapham which now meant that Boon had to defeat Davis in order to progress. If Davis were to win, then given the points differential then Davis would progress with Thomas. As the players entered the arena, it was clear from the first stumbling footsteps that Boon was already considerably drunk. This continued into the first exchanges of the game as Boon proceeded to operate a "one for you, one for me" bar policy. Whilst this scored him a significant number of early points, it meant a dulling of the reactions was seen over the course of the tie. In contrast, Davis appeared focused, continuing the form shown in his record-breaking victory over Clapham in the previous tie.
With an hour left in the match, the scores were level but the drink was starting to take its toll on Boon, who was unable to see the identification of the punters when he asked for it. This saw him serve a spate of underage punters, including the jar of pickled eggs donated by the local fish and chip shop to feed the hungry punters. Davis eased away as the points penalties for Boon racked up. Davis emerging the eventual winner by over a hundred points, and sending the pre-tournament favourite crashing out.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Final tables and Semi Finals
Division One
Division Two
Semi Final One: Reddlapalli vs Thomas
Semi Final Two: Davis vs Gough
Division One
Code:
W L D Pf Pa Net Points Pts
M. Reddlapalli 2 1 0 1156 968 188 6
K. Gough 2 1 0 874 844 30 6
L. Camps 1 2 0 842 798 44 3
J. Gray 1 2 0 821 1083 -262 3
Code:
W L D Pf Pa Net Points Pts
H. Davis 2 1 0 1394 744 650 6
G. Thomas 2 1 0 963 807 156 6
D. Boon 2 1 0 940 823 117 6
K. Clapham 0 3 0 358 1281 -923 0Semi Final Two: Davis vs Gough
Last edited:
Magrat Garlick
Global Moderator
Judges clearly bribed by Davis. Investigations have been set in motion by the Fardingham Police.
Oh, and a pint of Czech pilsner, please
Oh, and a pint of Czech pilsner, please
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
No bribery involved, but any stories of me taking Boony out to the pub before hand and only drinking lemonade whilst he was served pints of vodka may be accurate.
