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Boony what a gun, such a ladies man he is.
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BarStar: Charity Tournament for all 20:20 Captains
- Thread starter HeathDavisSpeed
- Start date
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
No cheap man of the match awards here, Goughy. You may even be forced to serve a few drinks!
Goughy
Well-known member
Not on my watch. I’m an anecdote and phone numbers guy.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
That's gonna cost ya! They'll come flocking to my bar to quench the severe thirst they'll have built up listening to your tales of late night shenangans and Bulgarian drivers... A lot of listening, but when they need a drink, they'll come running to Heath.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
Bar Star: The Semi Finals
In advance of the big Playoff Final in the inaugural 20:20 Competition of CWLand, the Bar Star semi-finals were staged, featuring representatives from West Robbham, Garven Island, Nixontown and, of course, Fardingham.
Before the first tie of the day - Kevin Gough of West Robbham vs Heath Davis of Fardingham, all four semi-finalists were paraded in front of the adoring crowd; which also featured the already defeated group competitors.
After the elimination of the overwhelming bookmakers favourite, David Boon, the tournament was there for the taking.
Semi Final One
The classical mahogany bar surfaces of the prelimary rounds had been replaced by garish, colour stained formica making the two competing bars easier to identify for the prime time television viewing public.
In the Orange bar was Kevin Gough. Uniquely amongst the bar star contestants, Gough had once again neglected to worry about his bar, instead spending the first 10 minutes of the tie setting up a sofa and bean-bag area in front of his bar from which to tell stories. However, given the well documented pre-match piss taking from Davis that Gough was and is incapable of pouring a drink, Gough was seen playing up to the cameras shaking a cocktail which he served to a regular punter.
On the other side, in the Green bar, Davis was starting on a fairly one-dimensional pint pouring strategy in order to lure people away from Gough in order to actually obtain a drink.
To cut a long story short, this a far from exciting match with Gough chatting up the ladies and wowing the crowds with his tales to match every pint Davis could pour. In the end, the match only had 35 points in it. The difference came from the fact that although Gough told more tales and chatted up more women than Davis poured pints, Davis had also succesfully rolled out a few cocktails thanks to a new recipe of his own design called "Camps' Jock Strap Washings. This was particularly popular with some female customers and had the knock on effect of drawing some attention away from Gough's soap box.
Davis won by 35 points
Semi Final Two
After the disappointment of the lacklustre first bout the crowd was hoping for more from the Thomas vs Reddlapalli tie. And they got more in spades. By the end of the game, one player emerged as the winner by only 24 points.
Both players showed a good all round game, serving up drinks, entertaining the crowds and also providing peripheral entertainment to the thirsty punters. Also, whilst Thomas dominated with the beer pumps, Reddlapalli proved to be much more successful at appealling to the opposite sex, being able to obtain no less than 5 phone numbers.
With such a small winning margin, its hard to pin point the exact place that the match was lost. In fact, for the last half an hour of the tie, the score was deliberately hidden from both the players and the crowd in order to ramp up the pressure somewhat. At the final whistle, no one knew who had won.
Reddlapalli won by 24 points
The Grand Final will be Manju Reddlapalli versus Heath Davis.
In advance of the big Playoff Final in the inaugural 20:20 Competition of CWLand, the Bar Star semi-finals were staged, featuring representatives from West Robbham, Garven Island, Nixontown and, of course, Fardingham.
Before the first tie of the day - Kevin Gough of West Robbham vs Heath Davis of Fardingham, all four semi-finalists were paraded in front of the adoring crowd; which also featured the already defeated group competitors.
After the elimination of the overwhelming bookmakers favourite, David Boon, the tournament was there for the taking.
Semi Final One
The classical mahogany bar surfaces of the prelimary rounds had been replaced by garish, colour stained formica making the two competing bars easier to identify for the prime time television viewing public.
In the Orange bar was Kevin Gough. Uniquely amongst the bar star contestants, Gough had once again neglected to worry about his bar, instead spending the first 10 minutes of the tie setting up a sofa and bean-bag area in front of his bar from which to tell stories. However, given the well documented pre-match piss taking from Davis that Gough was and is incapable of pouring a drink, Gough was seen playing up to the cameras shaking a cocktail which he served to a regular punter.
On the other side, in the Green bar, Davis was starting on a fairly one-dimensional pint pouring strategy in order to lure people away from Gough in order to actually obtain a drink.
To cut a long story short, this a far from exciting match with Gough chatting up the ladies and wowing the crowds with his tales to match every pint Davis could pour. In the end, the match only had 35 points in it. The difference came from the fact that although Gough told more tales and chatted up more women than Davis poured pints, Davis had also succesfully rolled out a few cocktails thanks to a new recipe of his own design called "Camps' Jock Strap Washings. This was particularly popular with some female customers and had the knock on effect of drawing some attention away from Gough's soap box.
Davis won by 35 points
Semi Final Two
After the disappointment of the lacklustre first bout the crowd was hoping for more from the Thomas vs Reddlapalli tie. And they got more in spades. By the end of the game, one player emerged as the winner by only 24 points.
Both players showed a good all round game, serving up drinks, entertaining the crowds and also providing peripheral entertainment to the thirsty punters. Also, whilst Thomas dominated with the beer pumps, Reddlapalli proved to be much more successful at appealling to the opposite sex, being able to obtain no less than 5 phone numbers.
With such a small winning margin, its hard to pin point the exact place that the match was lost. In fact, for the last half an hour of the tie, the score was deliberately hidden from both the players and the crowd in order to ramp up the pressure somewhat. At the final whistle, no one knew who had won.
Reddlapalli won by 24 points
The Grand Final will be Manju Reddlapalli versus Heath Davis.
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Nice.
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
And so it came to pass that the Great and the Good of the CWLand Cricket federation and its associated Quangos and Junkets all met up on the day of the final to play the Inaugural BarStar Final.
Two giants of the Bar tending game stood head and shoulders above the other contestants, but by the end of the day, one's head would be metaphorically crushed under the other's slightly effeminate boots. The judges for the match had been flown in with no expense spared - Tom Cruise and David Boon.
And the winner is....
MANJU REDDLAPALLI
Two giants of the Bar tending game stood head and shoulders above the other contestants, but by the end of the day, one's head would be metaphorically crushed under the other's slightly effeminate boots. The judges for the match had been flown in with no expense spared - Tom Cruise and David Boon.
And the winner is....
MANJU REDDLAPALLI
HeathDavisSpeed
Well-known member
If you hadn't realised, the yellow monstrocity in my post above is the trophy. I expect to see this on his mantelpiece if I ever visit Chez Reddlapalli. 
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Awesome stuff tbh. Glad we won this, we walk away with one of the gunnest trophies ever, by we i mean Garven Island minus Xavier for his lack of commitment to put up stats, other than that all sweet. Stoked.
Would also like to thank my fellow supporters, entire team and most importantly Davis for being such a tough competitor and organiser.
Would also like to thank my fellow supporters, entire team and most importantly Davis for being such a tough competitor and organiser.