Pace Shootout in Dyslex-mania
By Horace Longletter.
With squads finalised for the newest League for the Ages, the coach of the Dyslexic Dymanos, Jakc McNarama tells the Herald that he's faced with quite a dilemma for the final few places in his side.
"Darren Gough, Chaminda Vaas and Heath Streak are all fine exponents of fast medium bowling in the modern game, and it looks at the moment as though these three might end up fighting over one spot in the final side."
When further prodded, McNarama talked of his penchant for Manny Martindale, the little heard of West Indian fast bowler. "I've always had a soft spot for bowlers who head out to bowl with the intention to kill, and there's no doubt that Manny displays that sort of hatred for batsmen." Having played the minimum 10 Tests to qualify for the League, Martindale is looking forward to prove his worth and proving that he can succeed without employing Bodyline tactics, like he did in the series against England.
"My favourite dismissal has to be 'Hit Wicket', because usually it means that I've either knocked the batsman onto the stumps, or he's that scared that he jumps back onto them" Martindale says, with a huge grin ear to ear.
What could well be crucial to the side is the final pick in the draft of the Indian off-spinner Harbhajan Singh. "We feel for the sake of team balance, that selection was very important. We now have someone to back up Vinoo Mankad, who will ensure that everyone is very careful with their running between wickets. With Boof to slide in for a few overs, and Hadlee's worldwide effectiveness, we feel as though we can assemble an attacking bowling side anywhere."
Of more immediate concern to McNarama is the strength of his batting. "While we have fantastic batting depth, we need to find another top-class batsman to support the hand blister (Kallis) and the one man we've ruled out from taking captaincy (Ponting). There is a lot of pressure on the man who wishes he was West Indian (Herschelle Gibbs) and Boof (Lehmann) to chip in with good runs for us. Ditto the Haunted House (Dave Houghton) and the bearded guru (Anwar). It needs to be a real team effort with the batting if we maintain our current line-up".
This scribe is of the belief that, with their home ground looking the way that it is, Keith Miller could well be the trump card for the side. If he doesn't perform up to expectations, then the Dyslexic Dymanos will struggle throughout, struggling to make runs. If the season threatens to turn ugly, a word to the curator asking for dirty green-tops might be in order, to bring other sides back down to their lack of skill with the willow. While dirty tactics, it might be the only way they can buy a win.
