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A Pirates Life for Me

superkingdave

Well-known member
Not really, Ian doesn't remember jack after downing that triple absinthe, he's just making stuff up. In fact if anyone need be embarrassed it would him, we've got some interesting photos of his attempt at YMCA on Broadie's digital camera.
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
Yawn, another day, another win, the lack of challenge to the superiority of the Pirates is getting tiresome. The lastest to try their luck were the Thuderbirds, but they certainly weren't F.A.B. (Sorry:p) We tried our best to give them a chance but they never really came close, we even gave Mohammed and Bennett some confidence by gifting them some wickets, I even slowed our run rate down deliberately in order to help them out. I bowled several deliberate long hops and so did Ian, all to no avail, San Fernando just weren't good enough to challenge us.

Lets hope the standard of the opposition improves, people are already drawing parallels between the Pirates and formula one's Ferrari, its not good for the sport

:p
 

steds

Well-known member
superkingdave said:
We tried our best to give them a chance but they never really came close, we even gave Mohammed and Bennett some confidence by gifting them some wickets, I even slowed our run rate down deliberately in order to help them out. I bowled several deliberate long hops and so did Ian, all to no avail, San Fernando just weren't good enough to challenge us.
:huh:
Yeah, sure...
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
It was a tale of the conditions in the next match, bright sunshine one day and overcast skies for the remainder of the match contributed to what can only be described as an anomoly. Complete with some hilarious umpiring decisions, continued running on the pitch by San Fernando and suspected ball tampering, this was a match where the best team didn't win.

:p
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
The schedule kindly gave us a day off and we tried to use it gainfully. We had a practise in the morning, it didn't start well. We tried to do fitness to start off with, and frankly i've never seen a more out of condition bunch. Now me, Kears and Ian are hardly olympic champions, but we were positively Iron men compared to this lot.

We went on a run along the beach, Hundley, Manson and Khan could barely manage a trot, and after a couple of minutes they stopped to get some chicken from a stall along the way. Pittman's shorts fell down, leading to him being arrested for indecency. Ian Singh missed the session, he was at school. Ganga's missus wouldn't let him out, which wasn't fair, given that he'd looked after the kids while she was out with Ian last night. Simon Carlisle got into a fight after running over some kid's sandcastle and Dom Mohammed decided to take a cooling off dip and nearly drowned as he cant swim.

All in all it was a disaster. The survivors had a net afterwards, and we all enjoyed calling out 'No Ball' every time Lallman ran in to bowl. Carlton Winslow set a world record for consecutive beamers and i bowled Simon Carlisle round his legs 4 times.

It'll be good to get back to some competative action, though i have managed to do a bit of sun bathing and my tan is coming along nicely
 

Slats4ever

Well-known member
hehe too right about that fitness training... Pittman's shorts falling down was one of the funniest things i've ever seen. I reckon it was cos Tino dacked him... hehe, I spoke to Pittsie the other day and he said he had something awesome in stall for Tino.

It was good for a change instead of coming last in the fitness i was second last. Last of course was Tino who was doing crazy cartwheels and smoking weed.
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
Mixed day in the field, while this season continues to go well for the side, my own form has been pretty much trash, another poor display with a cheap dismissal and some wayward bowling has me wondering what i can do. I've tried many things, the drugs don't work, tried Cigarrette's and Alcohol, no joy. It's not dark yet, but its gettin there. Wouldn't it be nice if i could just get a 5fer or a 50. Anyway, enough down talk, sometimes you've just got to carry that weight.

I've heard it through the grapevine that Gangs is suspicious someone is pokin his wife, said if he finds out who it is he's gonna get his machete out and whoop some ass. Ian said he doesn't care and he's made of stone but he's realy s***tin it and he's told her its over. Not sure i blame him though, she may be a pretty woman but seeing the fire in Gangs eyes was scary.

In the match we sort of cruised it really, our top order knocked up a big score, Ian was in top form, poetry in motion. We had a bit of a calypso collapso but the total we got was pretty tough. They never looked like getting it, despite some accomodating bowling with yours truly the main offender, if fact they didnt really look like they wanted to win it. Think some of their players are just here for lining their pockets, not a thought for the common people in the stands.

Another step on the long and winding road to the title completed, and with the constant shenanigans going on you couldn't ask for a life less ordinary. In the short time we've been here we've had affairs, dubious substances, policemen and pirates and i'm sure there's much more to come before we're out of time. Anyway, its back to the bar, its nearly closing time.
 

Slats4ever

Well-known member
hehe yeah decided it was best for the team if i left her alone with her angry wife. but that doesn't mean i'm friends with Gangs
 

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
superkingdave said:
Mixed day in the field, while this season continues to go well for the side, my own form has been pretty much trash, another poor display with a cheap dismissal and some wayward bowling has me wondering what i can do. I've tried many things, the drugs don't work, tried Cigarrette's and Alcohol, no joy. It's not dark yet, but its gettin there. Wouldn't it be nice if i could just get a 5fer or a 50. Anyway, enough down talk, sometimes you've just got to carry that weight.

I've heard it through the grapevine that Gangs is suspicious someone is pokin his wife, said if he finds out who it is he's gonna get his machete out and whoop some ass. Ian said he doesn't care and he's made of stone but he's realy s***tin it and he's told her its over. Not sure i blame him though, she may be a pretty woman but seeing the fire in Gangs eyes was scary.

In the match we sort of cruised it really, our top order knocked up a big score, Ian was in top form, poetry in motion. We had a bit of a calypso collapso but the total we got was pretty tough. They never looked like getting it, despite some accomodating bowling with yours truly the main offender, if fact they didnt really look like they wanted to win it. Think some of their players are just here for lining their pockets, not a thought for the common people in the stands.

Another step on the long and winding road to the title completed, and with the constant shenanigans going on you couldn't ask for a life less ordinary. In the short time we've been here we've had affairs, dubious substances, policemen and pirates and i'm sure there's much more to come before we're out of time. Anyway, its back to the bar, its nearly closing time.
That's a top cultural-referencing effort.
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
Had a visit from the random drugs tester this morning, good job Tino gave us that masking agent. Though from what Sean Bennett was shoutin about in the bar last night, you only get punished if you dont have any trace of drugs in the system round here. By the time the results come out we'll probably be out of here anyway.

Home again today against Marabella Maroons in another 40 over contest, the Maroons dont boast any of our Web brethren and you can tell from their results on the pitch. Younis Khan was their 'star player' but that's in the loosest sense of the word.

Tino opened the bowling with Chris but he wasn't at his best(sorry). Just before his first delivery a bird cr*pped on his head and he never recovered, He only bowled 2 overs but he went for 24 including 2 sixes and was warned twice by the umpire. Chris faired a little better, clean bowling Mark Alleyne's nephew Christian in his first over, but he also took some punishment from top scorer Tishan Maraj. Winslow and Gangs came on to tighten it up before the real stars entered the action. Singh would bowl his 7.5 overs for just 19 whilst Ian and I were to run through the lower order to bowl the Maroons out for 182. My 3-31 was my best performance with the ball so far, hopefully i can improve from there.

The batting all came down to one man really, Ian hitting 119 from 94 balls including 2 sixes and 16 fours(including a ramp shot) whilst i got another dodgy LBW, pitching at least 3 feet outside leg. Ian went on to hit the winning runs batting with his bat upside down in a show of disdain for the Marabella 'attack'. Awarded with the MOM, Markus dedicated it to 'a special someone who knows who she is' *cough* Mrs Ganga *cough*.

After the match i got a call from the local tv station, think they want to do a feature on me for a new show called 'Heroes of Spin' said i'd do it if there was Beer and honeys, here's hopin.

Also got to see some highlights of some of the County matches in England, seems the CW boys are tearin it up there aswell, especially Håkon who's gotten quite a cult following in Yorkshire, there's a band of spectators who go to every match in viking helmets and clogs... That's Yorkshire for you.

Pikcup and Kennett aren't doing to badly in Essex either, though their off the field antics leave a lot to be desired, we may be a long way away but the stories of fake gold necklaces and shellsuits still reach us and it seems the time in Essex is getting to them, hopefully the damage wont be irreversible or they'll end up like Halsey
 

Neil Pickup

Cricket Web Moderator
No truth in the rumours at all.

All I've done is shred the entire contents of Braintree library's phone book collection and dump it in the High Street. Grr.
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
[rant]Ganga just doesn't seem to have a clue about captaincy.With the Flashes battering our bowling to all parts, the only people who seemed to have any control over the run rate were me and Ian Singh, so what does our not so esteemed captain do? Only bowls us 9 overs between us, have to say i gave him some choice words in the dressing room afterwards. Bowling the likes of Manson and Winslow was a disgrace when you've got one of the worlds premier Ashley Giles impersonators and the next Dave Mohammed available. How did this person ever get selected as captain? He's got the most talented squad in the history of T &T cricket and he stifling our potential with his negativity, croniism and generally abysmal decision making. He's an okay opening batsman but he's possibly a worse captain than David Gower. Maybe i'm spoilt having the Brearleyesque Pickup as my captain back home.[/rant]

Kenny Dobson had a good game, without his 76 from 46 balls we'd still have won. Both me and Ian failed with the bat. Mine was to be expected, even if it did hit me a foot outside of whilst i was playing a shot, even if the shot was a reverse sweep to a length ball. I did hit one boundary though, a beatiful straight drive that was probably the best shot most of the people present had ever seen.

Despite all this we still had a chance at victory but the South African mercenary seemed more worried about not getting out than going for the victory and we fell 8 runs short.

I've arranged a bit of a coup, so hopefully by the next time i write, we'll have a new captain, otherwise i could be on drinks duties.
 

superkingdave

Well-known member
Shamelessy pillaged by 'New' Labour for their 1997 Election campaign, D:ream had a big hit with 'Things can only get better.' TBH that must be debatable, the lead singer went on to be a physics lecturer at Salford University and believe me he was Sh*t at it. Nevertheless the songs seems quite apt for my cricketing career in T&T so far, whilst life off the pitch has been excellent, though bordering on the crazy, the struggle to string together decent performances on the cricket field has so far been somewhat elusive.

Fear not readers, for i am not about to launch into another tirade at my captain, nor am i going to lament any dodgy umpiring decisions(though TBH i should have had a least 3 LBWs in the second innings, watch your back umpire Smith) for at last i have had some joy in the middle.

After dismissing the Porters for 235 in the opening inning, with Ganga surpisingly taking 5-49 and yours truly 2-46, it was our turn to bat.

Lo and behold the star of the piece was none other than moi, a magnificent 102* from 249 balls, though i must give credit to my fellow CW Black star Braodie for his magnificent 38* from 105 balls(28 of those from 7 scoring shots) to give me time to register my first ever ton.

We in turn must pay our dues to the legend that is Samuel Vimes. Hours spent watching the county cricket coverage from England has led me and Chris to copy the adopted Yorkshireman's style at the crease, and it certainly seems to have paid off. The frustration on the faces of the Porters bowlers as i let the 35th consecutive delivery go through to the keeper was priceless and i've decided that slow is the way to go.

Unfortunately the go slow approach had a bit of an effect on the rest of the match, we bowled them out for 250 (3-78 to me) to leave us to chase 126 in just 12 overs, we got 85, so maybe if id played at a few more we'd have won...but i don't care :p

highlights said:
79.3 Ramkisoon to Richards, FOUR, Dave Richards is going haywire!
Fifty for Dave Richards

A typical over:
102.1 B Singh to Richards, no run, Dave Richards playing forward defensive
102.2 B Singh to Richards, no run, Defensively played by Dave Richards
102.3 B Singh to Richards, no run, Defensively played by Dave Richards
102.4 B Singh to Richards, wide, Badree Singh bowling a very wayward one
102.4 B Singh to Richards, no run, Left alone by Dave Richards
102.5 B Singh to Richards, no run, That ball was a mystery to the batsman
102.6 B Singh to Richards, no run, Left alone by Dave Richards

The moment of Truth - Cheers Anthony...

117.6 Z Mohammed to Richards, FOUR, What a blunder by Anthony Lezama. He gave away 4 runs with that misfield
Dave Richards raises his bat to everyone in the stadium as he reaches 100
 

Mr Mxyzptlk

Well-known member
Congrats. You'll be pleased to know that the powers that be at the Pirates have put Ganga on probation as captain of the 3D team. He's secured his 40-over job though.
 
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