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The Next Big Thing: CricketWeb 'A' in the Caribbean

James90

Well-known member
December 2

The involved squad were very excited about tomorrow’s test and were all quite positive and talkative. However, excited can’t be used to describe those who don’t consider themselves a chance for the test tomorrow. As a result, the breakfast table was lacking the presence of Tarique Weber, Nick Borcich and Trav Demeza. It was also discovered that the supply of Nurofen had suddenly halved.

Shortly afterwards it was back onto the bus to Port-of-Spain. It is a lovely city if you’re a bedridden deaf mute. Weber, Borcich and Demeza stumbled up to the back so they couldn’t be seen by the rest of the touring party. This wasn’t the case as about halfway through the journey it became known that Borcich had fallen asleep in Tarique’s crotch. Thankfully Bryce Cunningham had his camera on hand and took many a photo. It wasn’t long before we arrived back in the capital. I was surprised that we would return to the same cheap hotel after we had been forcibly removed just a few days ago.

It really does show the budget that we would find it easier to suck up to those who hate us to let us back for just one night rather than just paying that little bit extra for a decent hotel room with separate rooms. None-the-less it wasn’t too disappointing returning as Borcich had a new partner with whom he could stay. Tarique and Nick were given the double bed and I was now rooming with Sean Bennett, keeping the Reds spirit alive.

Shortly after lunch we went down to the local training ground for the last time. It was a mostly energetic side that took the field. There was good communication and the team really does look ready for tomorrow’s test. Demeza seemed to be getting into it alright and even showed a bit more pace; obviously coming from the weight he’s put on while on tour.

We finished with a net session. Tarique Weber had mysteriously disappeared early, meaning that I had a choice between Bennett and Richards for my net. After the trouble I had picking Dave Mohammad I had his prodigy Sean Bennett bowl. I think it went quite well as I was picking his variations quite easily.

Over dinner Tarique confessed to me that he “doubts I can get through the tour without punching him in the face”. I didn’t know who this was aimed at originally but looking down the table I could see that Borcich was undressing us with his eyes. We went over the plan for tomorrow and had some bonding activities shortly after dinner. It was a good day but the anticipation for tomorrow is painful. The starting side won’t be announced until the morning and I’m certainly not guaranteed a place.
 

Kweek

Well-known member
James90 said:
The involved squad were very excited about tomorrow’s test and were all quite positive and talkative. However, excited can’t be used to describe those who don’t consider themselves a chance for the test tomorrow. As a result, the breakfast table was lacking the presence of Tarique Weber, Nick Borcich and Trav Demeza. It was also discovered that the supply of Nurofen had suddenly halved.

Shortly afterwards it was back onto the bus to Port-of-Spain. It is a lovely city if you’re a bedridden deaf mute. Weber, Borcich and Demeza stumbled up to the back so they couldn’t be seen by the rest of the touring party. This wasn’t the case as about halfway through the journey it became known that Borcich had fallen asleep in Tarique’s crotch. Thankfully Bryce Cunningham had his camera on hand and took many a photo. It wasn’t long before we arrived back in the capital. I was surprised that we would return to the same cheap hotel after we had been forcibly removed just a few days ago.

It really does show the budget that we would find it easier to suck up to those who hate us to let us back for just one night rather than just paying that little bit extra for a decent hotel room with separate rooms. None-the-less it wasn’t too disappointing returning as Borcich had a new partner with whom he could stay. Tarique and Nick were given the double bed and I was now rooming with Sean Bennett, keeping the Reds spirit alive.

Shortly after lunch we went down to the local training ground for the last time. It was a mostly energetic side that took the field. There was good communication and the team really does look ready for tomorrow’s test. Demeza seemed to be getting into it alright and even showed a bit more pace; obviously coming from the weight he’s put on while on tour.

We finished with a net session. Tarique Weber had mysteriously disappeared early, meaning that I had a choice between Bennett and Richards for my net. After the trouble I had picking Dave Mohammad I had his prodigy Sean Bennett bowl. I think it went quite well as I was picking his variations quite easily.

Over dinner Tarique confessed to me that he “doubts I can get through the tour without punching him in the face”. I didn’t know who this was aimed at originally but looking down the table I could see that Borcich was undressing us with his eyes. We went over the plan for tomorrow and had some bonding activities shortly after dinner. It was a good day but the anticipation for tomorrow is painful. The starting side won’t be announced until the morning and I’m certainly not guaranteed a place.
not true! i was in the room with Bryce! keeping up green spirit! borcich was on his own in the room! and wtf could i do about the crouch photo ooi ! i was asleep too!
and yes we went out...thats true ! hence the iburofen gone...for the rest I got nothing to do with it! you cheeky monkey..

edit: and i didnt leave early!! there was a net down the road where we went !
 

James90

Well-known member
December 3 - December 22

We woke up early and travelled to the ground via bus. The plan was to have a long fielding session then some time in the nets. This wasn’t possible as some overnight rain left the outfield waterlogged and delayed the start of play by three weeks.

Never-the-less, play eventually got underway with Sean Fuller winning the toss and electing to bat. I wasn’t at the crease too long before I realised that I’d wasted the last few weeks. I’d spent too much time trying to tune the local weather lady and not enough time in the nets. The result was that my feet weren’t moving which proved particularly difficult when confronted with the spinners.

At the other end Thamba Mamesh was seeing it like a beach ball and finding the boundary with ease. I was more than happy to give him the strike but couldn’t even manage that as I was the victim of several maiden overs from Omari Banks. I eventually top edged a sweep and my 3-hour stay at the crease was brought to a close for just 17.

Mamesh went on to a stylish 176 as the team managed a total of 382. The CricketWeb attack went about defending that from ball one, leaving the home side struggling at 3/39. The middle order gave somewhat of a recovery but it was just a matter of time before they fell then it was up to Fuller to clean up the tail, giving up a lead of 181.

The opening pair managed another century partnership before Best claimed the wicket of Blackman. I felt more comfortable playing the quicks but Best got one to rise off a length and I only managed to fend it into the gully. Fuller left shortly after but Mamesh continued his great form hitting 100 in both innings allowing us to declare on the fourth afternoon.

Some more rain put the result in jeopardy and Fuller felt guilty about batting too long and not researching the weather. If he had listened to Liamita my weather lady this never would have happened. It the end it didn’t matter as Cunningham managed to clean up the West Indies in quick time and give us a 1-0 lead in the series.

Tomorrow morning we will fly to Barbados ahead a tour match with their national side. Hopefully this country will produce more runs in a so far unrewarding tour.
 

James90

Well-known member
December 23

I said goodbye to Liamita at the airport and now it’s time to focus on my cricket. At least until I start scoring some runs. The flight went well with no complications, apart from Xavier managing to set off the smoke alarm in the toilets on four different occasions.

We arrived in Bridgetown shortly after and were shown around by our tour guide. I’m in the Worrell section of the hotel, which overlooks the ground for tomorrow’s fixture. The main positive however was the single rooms. I’d had gotten tired of Nick’s constant growling and finding Sean’s nail clippings around the place. Whenever I asked him about it he responded with, “My fingers need to be in premium shape so I can acquire optimum control”. That’s all well and good but it doesn’t explain why they happened to be found under my sheets every night.

After getting our gear unpacked we were taken around the city by our tour guide and I was awestruck by the culture and atmosphere of the place. At one point I thought I saw Nick trying to start a conga line before I realised what he was grabbing at. We went for a recovery session in the pool before lunch, helping to get over yesterday’s test. It allowed me to see just how much weight Demeza has put on at the buffet over the last couple of weeks.

We travelled to the nets shortly after lunch but I wasn’t in for long before I needed to find refuge in the toilets. In hindsight I thought I saw De Silva slip something into my soup when I went to talk to Fuller about my position for the rest of the tour. I thought a move down the order might be necessary after my poor performance yesterday but he didn’t seem to keen on the idea.

As a result, I had to sit and watch the rest of the session but thankfully I had Nick come and give me comfort. I showed my appreciation by turning his way and hurling on his lap. Apparently in Perth they see this as a sign of affection and so the problem got even worse.

I’m sitting out dinner and will probably go to sleep early to make sure I don’t get company from one particular individual.
 

dinu23

Well-known member
haha! brilliant.

by the way the pills were given to me by Nick. he said it will revitalize ur mind and body.
 

James90

Well-known member
December 25

Such is the schedule that we now have to play on Christmas Day. As I woke up I knew I was over the food poisoning but that didn’t mean I was well. I can not remember what I did Christmas Eve. By the time I got my thoughts together I realised that the team were downstairs unwrapping presents. I suddenly realised my Secret Santa and climbed out the window unnoticed.

I visited the nearby “Adult Shop” and bought Lezama a blow-up doll as I know how he gets lonely. It did however ruin the fun of remaining anonymous. The boys still found it amusing as Don tried to hide. I know he secretly went to try it out but the event was still enjoyable. Tarique was given some brass knuckles, obviously keen to try them out on Nick.

I received my gift towards the end and opened a replica “Tool of the Week” trophy. How someone would buy that in Barbados boggles the mind but it was obviously from Alex Blackman. Apparently it was a reference to something I did last night but I honestly have no idea what it’s about.

We arrived at the ground a bit later than normal and the side was announced. Mamesh was rested after his knock in the first test, allowing me to open the batting with Blackman. It also gave De Silva an opportunity to bat in the top order. The largely successful pair of Patrick and Collins was also rested in favour of Demeza and Borcich.

It proved costly as the experienced attack went for 319 on a seaming wicket. Both of the opening bowlers managed two wickets but Cunningham was the pick of the bowlers finishing with figures of 3/37.

Tino Best was extracting incredible movement from the deck and found the edge of my bat in the fifth ball of the innings. I wasn’t too disappointed as I was proud of the fact I actually got bat on ball, being beaten by the first four deliveries. Blackman joined me in the pavilion next over with the score at 2/1. De Silva also fell cheaply as the team were bundled out for just 94.

Barbados sent us back in keen on getting a result and I would do anything possibly to make sure that didn’t happen. I got off the mark with a single to midwicket much to the surprise of my team-mates but Blackman was dismissed two balls later for a pair. I was joined at the crease by De Silva who batted himself in nicely. It was the most comfortable I’ve felt at the crease for a long time which added to my frustration when Best claimed my wicket again for 33.

De Silva looked good on his way to a well made fifty but lost a few fans when he ran out Garven. When De Silva fell for 81, Barbados would have been odds on to clean us up. Not to be as Lezama and Wilson batted very well to bat the overs out and ensure that we remained undefeated on tour. Strangely enough it was the first time I had seen Wilson all tour. I thought maybe he had been injured on departure or perhaps replaced by Bennett but he saved the match for us today.

We headed back to the hotel late and after a good meal I headed to bed early while most of the squad stayed in the lobby and got into the Christmas spirit. It’s been a long couple of days and it’s time for me to get back into peak condition and get amongst the runs. De Silva may have made a claim for selection today but Blackman got a pair so I like my chances of playing in the 2nd Test.
 

James90

Well-known member
January 14

Throughout the tour Fuller’s captaincy had been solid. Not always perfect with some dubious field settings but he backed it up with results and performances with the ball. Today it was a completely different story as he single-handedly cost us what would have been a historic achievement, an undefeated tour by a CricketWeb side.

We arrived at the ground early and got acclimatised with the dressing rooms. This was vital as we didn’t want any unfortunate accidents to occur during the post-match celebrations. Especially after Weber had managed to cork his thigh on a massage table after we secured the one-day series in Port-of-Spain.

It was here that the side was named and match tactics planned out. After the last game I was told that if the opportunity came up I would open with Bennett again here. So naturally I asked when I saw my name listed at number three. It’s understandable considering that Bennett was rested in order to give those who hadn’t played much on tour a chance of some time in the middle. We also discussed what should happen if we won the toss. The conditions were overcast and looked as if they would offer some movement early. The pitch was a good one and likely to hold throughout the match so I strongly believe that chasing would be the best option, especially considering it was a day match. Considering Fuller, Patrick and Garven were all playing in the match my opinion didn’t count for much and when the coin landed our captain elected to bat.

His idea was simple. To set a huge demoralising total and then enjoy our time in the field. What was even more surprising was that the paper handed to match-referee at the toss was different to that announced just an hour earlier. Cunningham was left bewildered as Sean Bennett was named in the playing eleven. Surely now I would open with my long-time partner at Reds but I had to sit padded up as Fuller and Garven nurdled their way to 0/133. The two fell in quick succession meaning that Lezama and I would have to build our innings’ together.

The good news was that Tino Best had been taken out of the attack but it needn’t have mattered. I was bowled for eight by a Deonarine jaffer. This furthered my belief that we should have bowled first. Another factor in my dismissal was the nerves built up while watching Fuller edge his way through his innings, knowing that any time I could be out there. Wilson and Lezama fell soon after and the tail were only able to get the total up to 224, hardly the massive total that genius Fuller had planned.

Marshall and Ramdass struggled against the new ball but just as it looked as if they were getting on top, Patrick pulled off something special. Ramdass was caught at slip and Ganga sent back the next ball. This left Patrick on a hat-trick and although he didn’t get it, Sylvester Joseph was sent back the same over for another duck. Banks and Deonarine were rebuilding the innings as I was communicating with the crowd down at third man. Banks played a late-cut down to my right and I set off after it immediately. Deonarine turned around for a second but was sent back as I fired from the 30-yard circle. The batsmen slipped and a direct hit resulted in the much needed breakthrough.

The bowlers couldn’t finish it off as R Kelly put the key in the ignition and Patrick was the only one would came out of it with respectable figures. Needed just two off the final ball, Kelly worked the ball my way at deep midwicket and they were running back for the second as I picked up. It would have taken an absolute miracle to save the game from there. I therefore refuse to take the blame for the loss as I stumbled on a troublesome shoelace and they got back for three. It was obviously poor captaincy that cost us the game and without my runout it never would have gone down to the final ball.

The only drinks around after the game were to wash away the blues. I didn’t have too much however, stopping at the nine drink limit as I have fly out to Holland tomorrow morning to start a new club cricket adventure. After what I experienced here this tour I don’t want to go back to old club Port-of-Spain and would much prefer a month in Europe to get back the form I was lacking this series.
 

James90

Well-known member
Tour reflection (A-Z)

Alcohol – the cause and solution to all life’s problems.

Buffet – the smorgasbord of meals Demeza seemed to have in his mouth all tour.

Camera - the handy device which managed to capture all those embarrassing moments, in particular Weber and Borcich.

Drugs – the thing that Xavier Rose swore he never took on the flight to Bridgetown

Evicted – The team’s status on two separate occasions, both in Port-of-Spain.

Food fight – The reason behind our first hotel banning.

Golf – the sport which Bennett and I could never quite master.

Hangover – The diagnosis given to Mamesh when he complained of having a brain tumour

Incubus – the band consistently playing on Garven’s discman.

Jamaica – da ples were da pipple talk like dis.

Kensington Oval – the venue which saw De Silva stud himself while walking out to bat.

Liamita – the only positive to come from my time in Port-of-Spain.

Male – the gender of the “woman” Blackman picked up in Jamaica.

Nurofen – the most prolifically bought item on the tour.

Outfield – the sponge at Port-of-Spain delayed the entire CricketWeb schedule.

Port-of-Spain – The city where we were left for two weeks. The city now hates us forever and the feeling is mutual.

Quiet – the mood of Alex Blackman after the infamous cross-dressing incident.

Rugby - the game Lezama could never understand.

Super sopper – the brilliant piece of technology which succeeded in ensuring the entire ground was covered in water

Tino – The opponent who caused the most trouble throughout the tour

Underwear – the clothing item which Borcich went without.

Venkat - the umpire who came out of retirement only to get abused by Dave Richards.

Weber – the only person in the touring squad who didn’t find the funny side in Nick’s sexuality, or at least use it as good material for a tour diary

Xavier – the only touring member allowed back into the country (Trinidad).

Yesterday – all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks as if they’re here to stay.

Zebra – the new stuffed toy that Lezama decided to sleep with.
 
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