What makes a man?

[Top_Cat]

Provoked by someone I know, when asked to do something by his wife, feels hen-pecked then resorts to the classic 'tell me what to do or how you want it done, NOT both'.

Personally I think this is a tremendously backward way of looking at it. A man is not uncompromising, this is a infantalising Hollywood stereotype that many men live. A man does what is necessary to get the job done and sometimes that involves stuff like communication, compromise and so forth. It's very manly behaviour to negotiate and deal appropriately with conflict, boyish to be impervious to it. All I see in my mate above is a teenager being bugged by his mum saying "I don't wanna!" A man is trustworthy because he does what he says he is going to do when he says he's going to do it. A boy says he'll do it then doesn't and complains about the differing timelines. Blokes who feel hen-pecked, if ya do the job right the first time, she probably won't bug you.

Also, a man can cook and clean. A boy relies on others to do the jobs he cba to do. A man is self-sufficient, can look after himself and that means you can clean the damn toilet and do the dishes and it's incredibly manly to follow that up with a great meal. A man also keeps his health and fitness in check as a means to maintain his self-sufficiency. A man doesn't do this merely to appeal to women but for himself. I fully acknowledge that the above is broad, incomplete and hetero-centric but that's deliberate as I believe this stuff should be a conversation, not a bunch of rules. It broadly carries the spirit of what I believe a man is, though. I should point out that I'm far, far from complete in the self-sufficient stakes, my Dad can do a bunch of **** I can't (rebuild an engine, for example) but I'm trying to learn. A man learns and is adaptable too.

So, CW, what makes a man?

 

[GIMH]

I cut the grass before. About as manly as I'll feel until I'm a few beers in later

 

[Lillian Thomson]

A cake tin.

 

[zorax]

The whole concept of masculinity and femininity is nothing but a social construct. I refuse to accept that there can be any objective definition -vague or precise- for either of them.

Having said that, all humans need to learn how to be self sufficient, how to communicate, how to be healthy and well informed, and should aim to contribute to society in one way or another.

 

[MW1304]

I fully acknowledge that the above is broad, incomplete and hetero-centric but that's deliberate as I believe this stuff should be a conversation, not a bunch of rules.

Well yeah, it is, if you reverse the gender for all of this and say 'what makes a woman rather than a girl' it works just as well. So are you really asking 'what makes an adult?'. I think it's limiting just to say these particular things make a good man rather than a good person, Though I guess what can be good is to deconstruct what most people (or society, or whatever) deem to be positive masculine traits so we can move past such limitations. I'm pretty sure in these regards I'd make a far better woman than man.

 

[silentstriker]

Whatever your definition of a good human being is.

 

[Pratters]

Usually good human being yes. However, some times a person might do immoral things also to tend for the near and dear ones for earning money. So there can be no real definition for all this.

 

[Lillian Thomson]

Forget all this profound mumbo jumbo. A real man scores heavy with the babes.

 

[G.I.Joe]

Let's see, thread's gone from

(a) A constitution of masculinity
to
(b) Rejection of social constructs and the reframing of the question to encompass all humanity
to
(c) Injection of morality

Might as well reduce this further to it's technicality and answer "18 years" or "second trimester" () depending on whether we're stuck on paradigm (a) or (b)

 

[G.I.Joe]

Forget all this profound mumbo jumbo. A real man scores heavy with the babes.

kiwivictor's banned so we've got to jointly pull our weight and make his presence felt, LT.

 

[duffer]

Manners maketh man.

 

[fredfertang]

In years gone by I made a point of not doing anything I didn't want to. It took me a remarkably long time to work out that being such a selfish **** was the cause of all my domestic disharmony - for the last couple of years I've done everything asked of me as soon as I can and life has been much more harmonious

 

[harsh.ag]

Feeling an ongoing sense of guilt at not doing things the way the idealist in you thinks they should be done, and then doing many other things to try and distract yourself from this feeling, and then finding out everything else you could to assuage that idealist, who just keeps going, "... but what about that?" in your head and you keep saying "Yes, you little bastard, I am getting to it, I am getting to it" without actually having any idea or plan as to how to actually get to that, and you drink and have *** and eat and travel, and then it finally gets too much, and you vow to begin afresh, and are en route to hand in a long due resignation when you run into her, literally landing on her via a particularly loud jolt on the subway, and she smiles and all your worries and the voices and the guilt and the letter in your jacket pocket are all forgotten in but an instant.

 

[zorax]

Feeling an ongoing sense of guilt at not doing things the way the idealist in you thinks they should be done, and then doing many other things to try and distract yourself from this feeling, and then finding out everything else you could to assuage that idealist, who just keeps going, "... but what about that?" in your head and you keep saying "Yes, you little bastard, I am getting to it, I am getting to it" without actually having any idea or plan as to how to actually get to that, and you drink and have *** and eat and travel, and then it finally gets too much, and you vow to begin afresh, and are en route to hand in a long due resignation when you run into her, literally landing on her via a particularly loud jolt on the subway, and she smiles and all your worries and the voices and the guilt and the letter in your jacket pocket are all forgotten in but an instant.

Yes this

 

[Kirkut]

Being stoic.

 

[Lillian Thomson]

You can only be a man biologically. All the emotional/behavioural stuff is non-gender specific piffle created by a society full of munters.

 

[Red Hill]

Short back and sides.

 

[Agent Nationaux]

Good Character makes a good person

 

[smalishah84]

what makes a man?

A penis to begin with I suppose

well, she males also have penis so.....back to square one.

 

[Prince EWS]

Well yeah, it is, if you reverse the gender for all of this and say 'what makes a woman rather than a girl' it works just as well. So are you really asking 'what makes an adult?'. I think it's limiting just to say these particular things make a good man rather than a good person, Though I guess what can be good is to deconstruct what most people (or society, or whatever) deem to be positive masculine traits so we can move past such limitations. I'm pretty sure in these regards I'd make a far better woman than man.

Yeah his post focuses on what distinguishes a man from a boy rather than what distinguishes a man from a woman, which is what makes it a good thread.