best fart

[Victor Ian]

A Simple concept here. Tell us about an epic fart.

I am not normally a big farter. Sure, I probably pop the suggested average of 20 a day, but they are those silent, unsmelly things that are more psuodo fart than real fart. But the other day I joined the ranks of legends.

I was watching a movie with the misses in bed. I dropped one under the covers. A bit slipped out and she wondered what that smell was, while I played coy. Not buying my denial she lifted the covers slightly to investigate whether I was lying. Next thing, she tears out of the room. It made her vomit - I **** you not. To be honest, I was having a hard time dealing with it myself, and it was my own child.

Anyways, post your best fart stories here.

 

[Shri]

I was once inside my office shitter stall during lunch break and the restroom was very busy and noisy. Things had been building through out the day because of some bad food I guess and I felt a big one coming, with a gassy gurgling warning and all inside the depths of my stomach. I kept thinking "Oh ****! Oh ****! Oh ****! Hold it in till everyone leaves!", but no, my gut and asshole disagreed and I closed my eyes for a second to let out a slow, loud fart with a **** load of bass and it kept going as everyone grew silent quickly. It kept going as presumably everyone looked at each other's faces outside and after about 4 and a half long seconds, it came to a stop. Thankfully, the stall only had an opening underneath the door, which meant I lifted my legs up and put them against the door, just in case some **** bent down to take a look for clues of the fartsmith's identity.

I stayed inside the stall ripping a few more and started playing Stick Cricket on mute and continued for an hour just to make sure no one suspected me when I came out. No one called me out on it but everyone talked about it for the rest of the day. I didn't eat lunch that day and everyone thought I was down having food so no one figured it out.

 

[Adders]

A Simple concept here. Tell us about an epic fart.

I am not normally a big farter. Sure, I probably pop the suggested average of 20 a day, but they are those silent, unsmelly things that are more psuodo fart than real fart. But the other day I joined the ranks of legends.

I was watching a movie with the misses in bed. I dropped one under the covers. A bit slipped out and she wondered what that smell was, while I played coy. Not buying my denial she lifted the covers slightly to investigate whether I was lying. Next thing, she tears out of the room. It made her vomit - I **** you not. To be honest, I was having a hard time dealing with it myself, and it was my own child.

Anyways, post your best fart stories here.

Hang on, did you actually **** in your own bed???

 

[Prince EWS]

Hang on, did you actually **** in your own bed???

I thought that at first too, but I think (/hope) he just means a bit of a fart slipped out from under the covers.

 

[Prince EWS]

Victor literally shitting the bed wouldn't just qualify as a "fart story", and I don't think he'd be so forthcoming with it either tbh.

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Some of the ones on the Tranmere Supporters Bus on Tuesday night were the stuff of legends.

 

[Victor Ian]

I thought that at first too, but I think (/hope) he just means a bit of a fart slipped out from under the covers.

Yes. Poos in my bed would be private business.

Even this is pushing it but I made someone vomit. I'm not sure if this is embarrassing or legendary, but I'm going with legendary. I mean, come on, some people draw tears with theirs, while mine took it all the way to vomit.

 

[Red Hill]

Mate of mine used to have excellent control and once guided one through slowly for 28 seconds. One of most truly impressive things I've seen. High pitched too.

 

[watson]

.

 

[Ausage]