Please over complicate and psychoanalyze the 4 hogwarts houses

[Teja.]

Slytherin: tend to be ambitious (which is almost always code for parents have lots of money), resourceful (selfish ****s) and care about their lineage (eugenists) and heritage (nazis).

Gryffindor: advertise themselves as brave, courageous and noble but are actually the type of disingenuous status quo-ist ****s who are just as ambitious as Slytherin but less naked about it. All you need to know about these ****s is evident from how overrepresented they are in the wizarding police, CIA, government and politics.

Ravenclaw: unsocial ****s who spend too much time chasing transcendental moments of insight rather than rolling their sleeves and living a life of civic duty and discipline. Unlike Gryffindors, tend to struggle in influencing the masses long term due to their obvious sub-concious disdain coming through eventually. They don't compete in the same spheres that S & G compete in because they've convinced themselves without rhyme or reason that they are innately better without ever having to compete anyway.

Hufflepuff: To their credit, they are the most inclusive people and care the least about your lineage. All the other houses expend effort to demean them constantly while they have chill and don't really care what the other houses think and are nice to them anyway. They tend to be conned by propaganda about productivity & hardwork and follow instructions without thinking critically though. The type of guy who would happily come to work on saturday and sunday to help their boss out with some work because their boss has always been nice to them and they feel a sense of loyalty to the boss.

Please don't make this thread about she-who-must-not-be-named. Have no time for her bigoted **** stances.

 

[Magrat Garlick]

a forum theory of houses

gryffindors: desperate to get the last post, always convinced they are Correct

ravenclaws: make OPs that are divine glimmers, will forget they have an assignment due tuesday

slytherins: we have a few around, i will leave to the collective to guess their names

hufflepuffs: generally lurkers but occasionally pipe up with a factoid from 1990s county cricket

 

[Teja.]

ravenclaws: make OPs that are divine glimmers, will forget they have an assignment due tuesday

mags this is violence.

 

[Shri]

The sorting hat is a scam

Just random pre recorded phrases to convince children

It put Snape in Slytherin and wormtail in Gryffindor. Wtf

Easier to program too if it's all preplanned

 

[sledger]

Membership of each of the Hogwarts Houses is determined by an object which can invade your mind, and assign you with near perfect accuracy to the House to which it believes you are best suited. This same object, however, will not force its choice on you, and will respect your declaration of preferred House as the category of your choice. Unfortunately, this device, and all of the Houses, were devised by a total ****ing asshole who has no respect at all for such preferences.

 

[Lillian Thomson]

They’re terrible neighbours.

 

[vcs]

Membership of each of the Hogwarts Houses is determined by an object which can invade your mind, and assign you with near perfect accuracy to the House to which it believes you are best suited. This same object, however, will not force its choice on you, and will respect your declaration of preferred House as the category of your choice. Unfortunately, this device, and all of the Houses, were devised by a total ****ing asshole who has no respect at all for such preferences.

The complete thing is a scam and results in a ridiculous reinforcement of social stratification. Funny how the murderous racists always make it to Slytherin with zero exceptions and that hat is able to predict who's going to be one at age 5 with unerring accuracy. When you've named a house after a massive sociopath who unleashed a huge ****ing snake to kill the mixed bloods, what else do you expect from its members? Weird that they never cancelled that house altogether.

 

[vcs]

a forum theory of houses

gryffindors: desperate to get the last post, always convinced they are Correct

ravenclaws: make OPs that are divine glimmers, will forget they have an assignment due tuesday

slytherins: we have a few around, i will leave to the collective to guess their names

hufflepuffs: generally lurkers but occasionally pipe up with a factoid from 1990s county cricket

Hufflepuff description made me audibly lol

 

[vcs]

Also, how stupid that they never nationalized Ollivanders' or implemented any form of Wand Control. Any mouth-breather can go around Cruciatus-ing or AK-ing folks, because that's perfectly in order.

 

[vcs]

And oh, the curriculum is rubbish as well and completely kills any critical/scientific thinking or inquisitiveness. Imagine teaching kids to memorize simple magic spells for everything. It's like thinking that knowing how to work MS Office makes you a computer scientist. No wonder you end up with adults being amazed at how toasters work. Imagine if they just skipped Euclidean geometry, Calculus, number theory, Newton's Laws and so on in school because "haha no one really needs that ****"

 

[Teja.]

vcs please tell us how you really feel.

 

[Daemon]

I'm in Hufflepuff with SCC1

Rest of yall nerds in Ravenclaw

The sorting hate ate itself when placed on gnske's head

 

[RossTaylorsBox]

And oh, the curriculum is rubbish as well and completely kills any critical/scientific thinking or inquisitiveness. Imagine teaching kids to memorize simple magic spells for everything. It's like thinking that knowing how to work MS Office makes you a computer scientist. No wonder you end up with adults being amazed at how toasters work. Imagine if they just skipped Euclidean geometry, Calculus, number theory, Newton's Laws and so on in school because "haha no one really needs that ****"

Not if I live in a world where I can just **** in my pants and magic it away.

 

[Athlai]

I want to hear Brumby tell us about panda house

 

[Gnske]

The Sorting Hat is no better than the idea of putting Spec Ed kids in cages.

Prove me wrong. The Wizarding World is actually the worst and most deplorably corrupt conceived fiction in the history of literature, JK Rowling should uppercut herself for it.

 

[Magrat Garlick]

Anyway the real houses were always CW Red, Black, Green and Blue

 

[Howe_zat]

The sorting acts like it assigns people according to their personality traits. But it admits that it actually assigns people to a group based on the traits that they value, rather than those they possess.

In other words it’s a more honest version of Myers-Briggs.

 

[duffer]

Which house is the stoner house?

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

Anyway the real houses were always CW Red, Black, Green and Blue

You should sort the members who signed up after CWC to the teams as an exercise.

 

[dontcloseyoureyes]

ps. **** JK Rowling and **** TERF's