Write a poem about another poster

[Daemon]

I definitely don't, which
is why I haven't.

There u go

 

[Athlai]

I definitely don't, which is why I haven't.

Yet somehow without trying you get a 6 hard/soft syllable pair that alternates the stressed syllable to make a fairly pleasant meter.

 

[trundler]

There
u go

Ftfy

 

[Daemon]

Yet somehow without trying you get a 6 hard/soft syllable pair that alternates the stressed syllable to make a fairly pleasant meter.

your hard syllables make
my pleasant meter stressed

 

[Red_Ink_Squid]

Dealing with conflict

He gets lots of 'banter', he gets lots of sass
This man's reputation is for being bad ass
He doesn't get violent or compare you to Hitler
(Though he cops the odd ban for evading the filter)
No, when he's abused on our dear cricketweb
He settles his scores in a poetry thread
Not content just to be a big fat object in space
He puts young upstarts like zorax and Howe_zat in their place
If you think that a fart joke will raise a cheap smile
Remember this planet can dis like Eminem in 8 Mile*
Calm debate wouldn't work - that's way too quixotic
And that's just not how we roll down here in Off Topic
So next time you get angry with a big ignoramus
Just follow the lead of our hero, [Neptune]



*but a bit worse

 

[Burgey]

Flem, a man for all seasons
Shrewd, cunning and a word that rhymes with cunning
I'd let him have me for many reasons

Do I wish upon a midnight dreary
That Flem would come, and wipe my tear-y
It's true, I think of him a lot
I'd let him put Excalibur in my Camelot

He was brave to the end, no one was more true
Boundless was our despair, but as for you
Dan, your moderating is poo

Would bring a tear to a glass eye

 

[zorax]

Burgey's very old
He's older than you or me
He's older than CricketWeb
He's older than most trees

He's older than T20 cricket
He's older than List A
He's older than Kerry Packer
He's older than Gideon Haigh

He's older than broadcast TV
He's older than the web
He's older than space exploration
He's even older than sliced bread

He's older than Test cricket
He's older than the mail
He's older than colonisation,
He even saw Discovery set sail

He's older than civilization itself
He's as old as old can be
And It doesn't matter how old you are,
You'll never be older than Burgey

 

[Burgey]

This just in from zorax's latest BOTM head-to-head encounter with Burgey, which is obviously bothering him:

 

[zorax]

Look whose not witty enough to write a poem in response

And don't worry Uranus - you'll have yours coming to you soon enough

 

[Burgey]

I'm too busy dispensing justice to reply right now.

When I've finished doing that, I'll dispense some on you in here.

 

[trundler]

Burgey's very old
He's older than you or me
He's older than CricketWeb
He's older than most trees

He's older than T20 cricket
He's older than List A
He's older than Kerry Packer
He's older than Gideon Haigh

He's older than broadcast TV
He's older than the web
He's older than space exploration
He's even older than sliced bread

He's older than Test cricket
He's older than the mail
He's older than colonisation,
He even saw Discovery set sail

He's older than civilization itself
He's as old as old can be
And It doesn't matter how old you are,
You'll never be older than Burgey

Possibly the only regular who isn't older than cricketweb is me tbh

 

[Shady Slim]

h

look on a tangential note how ****in funny is it that cw is older than trundler is

EDIT: **** off this was my joke trundler

 

[Prince EWS]

Possibly the only regular who isn't older than cricketweb is me tbh

CW is 19. This may be true.

 

[Prince EWS]

Man it's weird to think about the fact that the day I joined there was someone who hadn't even been born yet (or may have been a very very young child... I'm not actually sure exactly how old you are) who I'd be talking to on the forum 17 years later. If you told me that on the day I'd have been absolutely stunned.

 

[Adders]

I got one.....

There once was a **** named zorax

I'm working on the rest, but I think I'm onto something good.

 

[Gnske]

Man it's weird to think about the fact that the day I joined there was someone who hadn't even been born yet (or may have been a very very young child... I'm not actually sure exactly how old you are) who I'd be talking to on the forum 17 years later. If you told me that on the day I'd have been absolutely stunned.

Hitler was only in charge for 11 years

really makes you think

 

[Prince EWS]

Hitler was only in charge for 11 years

really makes you think

Student becomes the master.

 

[trundler]

Man it's weird to think about the fact that the day I joined there was someone who hadn't even been born yet (or may have been a very very young child... I'm not actually sure exactly how old you are) who I'd be talking to on the forum 17 years later. If you told me that on the day I'd have been absolutely stunned.

This gives me an opportunity to shamelessly plug the fact that I'm turning 18 in 3 days. It's absolutely mind-blowing that some people have been posting here longer than I've had control of my bowels. You guys are lucky your teenage gaffes are buried in a sea of Richardian direness.

 

[zorax]

'I'm too Busy' he cries
During his posting spree
Using work to excuse his inadequacies
Whilst criminals run free

'I dispense justice IRL' he bemoans
As he types away on a forum
Arguing against the moderators
Demanding that exceptions be made for him

'Unban my favourite posters!'
'And get rid of the ones I don't like!'
'I've been around courtrooms my whole career'
'And you all can take a hike!'

Meanwhile the clock ticks away
Middle age has long passsd him by
Burgeys Very Old they all say
It's enough to make one cry

But don't shed a tear for him
Even tho his body is on the wane
A vote for him in BOTM
Is enough to numb the pain

 

[Prince EWS]

This gives me an opportunity to shamelessly plug the fact that I'm turning 18 in 3 days. It's absolutely mind-blowing that some people have been posting here longer than I've had control of my bowels. You guys are lucky your teenage gaffes are buried in a sea of Richardian direness.

I'm not that lucky, people think it's funny to bump mine.

The weird thing is that I remember people being shocked on Rleague Grandstand to discover I was 16 and had assumed I was mid 20s at least. The standard of my cricket knowledge at that age matched my **** posts tbf.