Gnske
Well-known member
And in the trash the OP goes.
-
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Every Superhero Film Ever
- Thread starter Howe_zat
- Start date
Howe_zat
Well-known member
I decided not to keep writing about each film as I went, partly because clearly not many people find these as fun as I do and partly because the 80s and 90s movies are mostly quite bad, but I did keep going. Here' the ranking list of the top 25 films before Blade made them good.
I would say the top 5 are probably film I could genuinely recommend, 6-11 are film I liked but have substantial flaws, 12-16 are kind of bad but I found things to like in them, and 17 down just suck.
1. The Crow - genuinely unexpected gem. Closer to a slasher film than typical comic book fare except you root for the monster. Simple story but performance, tone and visuals are right on point. Compare it to its sequel for reasons why it's good.
2. Superman II
3. Superman
4. Batman (1989) - Memorable performance from Jack Nicholson and a well executed film. Does suffer from the same flaws as its sequels (Batman being a secondary character mainly) but works.
5. The Rocketeer - Pulpy goodness with evil Timothy Dalton. Surprised me in how worth watching it is given it made no money.
6. The Mask - A lot of fond memories of this one but ****ing hell, 90s Jim Carrey does not age well.
7. The Shadow - Dumb and badly aged but very creative and does a lot with the premise.
8. Swamp Thing - Same deal. They put a lot of effort in to making an expressionless green bag of vines a sympathetic character.
9. Batman (1966)
10. Tank Girl - I went in expecting a legendarily awful film but it does enough weird stuff that I can't really hate it. It's like nothing else that exists.
11. Judge Dredd - This is like plenty of stuff that exists. But I like the design and I like Stallone.
12. Spawn - I was talking about PS1 - era CGI earlier in the thread and this is where it reaches its zenith. Looks terrible and wastes a good premise.
13. The Phantom - Does little wrong but ends up being completely unmemorable.
14. Batman Forever - There is a lot of good stuff in this and they tried to make it actually a Batman story this time. It's still kind of bad though in a 'makes no sense, hope Ace Ventura being in it will help'
15. The Crow: City of Angels - This is a bad movie that just about escapes a panning from me on the basis it retreads a bit of the first film and has Jubal Early in it.
16. Superman III - Dumb
17. Batman Returns - I don't need a waddling Danny DeVito making pussy puns in my life. That is a thing I can do without. Batman takes 45 minutes to say his first line in this film.
18. The Punisher 1989 - Unmemorable and uncreative Dolph Lungren vehicle in which you feel no reason to support the protagonist.
19. Return of Swamp Thing - Ultra low-budget version of the first film with all the charm taken out.
20. Howard the Duck - Infamously bizarre waste of creative material. Probably just made two decades too early, could have fit in well in the Adult Swim age.
21. Barb Wire - Very hard to take seriously. Not funny. Boobs.
22. Superman IV - Same as above, but not even boobs.
23. Batman & Robin - I went into this expecting a legendarily awful film and that is exactly what I got.
24. Supergirl - A 140 minute film that makes no attempt to fill that running time with plot, character or backstory.
25. Steel - N/A rating due to the internet having purged it from existence.
I would say the top 5 are probably film I could genuinely recommend, 6-11 are film I liked but have substantial flaws, 12-16 are kind of bad but I found things to like in them, and 17 down just suck.
1. The Crow - genuinely unexpected gem. Closer to a slasher film than typical comic book fare except you root for the monster. Simple story but performance, tone and visuals are right on point. Compare it to its sequel for reasons why it's good.
2. Superman II
3. Superman
4. Batman (1989) - Memorable performance from Jack Nicholson and a well executed film. Does suffer from the same flaws as its sequels (Batman being a secondary character mainly) but works.
5. The Rocketeer - Pulpy goodness with evil Timothy Dalton. Surprised me in how worth watching it is given it made no money.
6. The Mask - A lot of fond memories of this one but ****ing hell, 90s Jim Carrey does not age well.
7. The Shadow - Dumb and badly aged but very creative and does a lot with the premise.
8. Swamp Thing - Same deal. They put a lot of effort in to making an expressionless green bag of vines a sympathetic character.
9. Batman (1966)
10. Tank Girl - I went in expecting a legendarily awful film but it does enough weird stuff that I can't really hate it. It's like nothing else that exists.
11. Judge Dredd - This is like plenty of stuff that exists. But I like the design and I like Stallone.
12. Spawn - I was talking about PS1 - era CGI earlier in the thread and this is where it reaches its zenith. Looks terrible and wastes a good premise.
13. The Phantom - Does little wrong but ends up being completely unmemorable.
14. Batman Forever - There is a lot of good stuff in this and they tried to make it actually a Batman story this time. It's still kind of bad though in a 'makes no sense, hope Ace Ventura being in it will help'
15. The Crow: City of Angels - This is a bad movie that just about escapes a panning from me on the basis it retreads a bit of the first film and has Jubal Early in it.
16. Superman III - Dumb
17. Batman Returns - I don't need a waddling Danny DeVito making pussy puns in my life. That is a thing I can do without. Batman takes 45 minutes to say his first line in this film.
18. The Punisher 1989 - Unmemorable and uncreative Dolph Lungren vehicle in which you feel no reason to support the protagonist.
19. Return of Swamp Thing - Ultra low-budget version of the first film with all the charm taken out.
20. Howard the Duck - Infamously bizarre waste of creative material. Probably just made two decades too early, could have fit in well in the Adult Swim age.
21. Barb Wire - Very hard to take seriously. Not funny. Boobs.
22. Superman IV - Same as above, but not even boobs.
23. Batman & Robin - I went into this expecting a legendarily awful film and that is exactly what I got.
24. Supergirl - A 140 minute film that makes no attempt to fill that running time with plot, character or backstory.
25. Steel - N/A rating due to the internet having purged it from existence.
nightprowler10
Global Moderator
Crow being #1 makes me happy. I was blown away by how good Brandon Lee was. I had heard people claim that Ledger's Joker was inspired by this movie and I can see what those people mean.
Howe_zat
Well-known member
uh AMA about 80s and 90s comic book films I guess
Howe_zat
Well-known member
It is though. It's a disjointed mess in which the several bad guys go through three or four TV episodes worth of plot which Batman is there to react to. And for so much time spent on the villains it doesn't manage to justify any of them.
Selina Kyle's story is thus:
- gets murdered by Christopher Walken
- cats attempt to eat her corpse (fun stuff)
- wakes up (??)
- goes insane
- hates Batman (??), commences cat puns
And if you can find a reason why the Penguin spends the middle 25% trying to run for mayor you've clearly got access to an earlier draft of the script.
This kind of complaining can probably be made for a lot of the films on this list but the amount of time you spend with these villain characters forces you to think about it, which is where the film really stands out. I've got no beef with the silly climax or premise but you have to at least attempt to tell a story.
Athlai
Not Terrible
But they look cool. And isn't that what really matters?
nightprowler10
Global Moderator
That's "Academy Award Winner Suicide Squad" to you!
OverratedSanity
Well-known member
The Rocketeer was such a fun movie. Fun visuals, great villain, early 90s Jennifer Connelly... perfect.
I've never seen the male lead, whoever he is, in another big role which is kinda surprising because he's pretty great in the role.
I've never seen the male lead, whoever he is, in another big role which is kinda surprising because he's pretty great in the role.
nightprowler10
Global Moderator
Eagerly awaiting updates btw.
Howe_zat
Well-known member
Top 50 superhero films from before the MCU
1. Batman Begins - Fight me. It's the best one. Everything in this is Nolan being a meticulous as ever, except so much of it is about character. And uniquely among Batman films, it's actually about Batman.
2. X-men 2 - This is the only film that actually does the business with what the X-men idea can offer. The allegory is there, but it's in the backdrop of a proper story that wastes none of its parts and has great supporting actors (Cox, Cumming) as well as Ian McKellen chewing the scenery, rather than just going for that.
3. The Dark Knight - You don't need me to tell you why TDK is good. It's shitting amazing. The only nitpicks I have are being a bit subplot heavy and Batman being a secondary character in his own film.
4. Spider-Man 2 - Before this list I thought this might be my #1. Excellent performances and some great memorable moments. There's maybe a bit of the goofier parts of the script that haven't aged so well, and it's still not quite as good as the Gamecube tie in game for some reason.
5. Blade - It rocks my socks. It's awesome.
6. The Crow
7. X-men - It's very similar to its sequel except less good, which makes it a bit dodgy by comparison. Still a very solid film with a good script and good performances. I have no idea how they managed to put that cast together given the state of comic book films in the 90s.
8. Spider-Man - Much like the above, it's easier to see it for its flaws than its successes because its sequel largely eradicates the flaws. It's sillier than I remembered, though that's not really a bad thing.
9. Superman II
10. Superman
11. Hellboy II - The Golden Army - I can't see this is one of the best films there is but nothing else exists quite like it. Del Toro at his very Del Toroiest. On the one hand, wildly creative, on the other, kinda childish. On the one hand, stunning visuals, on the other, Seth McFarlane. No idea really.
12. Hellboy - Matches the tone of its sequel but goes for a much more grounded gothic idea rather than the wild pans-labyrith-meets-dirty-harry craziness of the other one. You still get to fight steampunk nazi wizards, but Wolfenstein did that so it's not exactly mental any more. On the plus side, Seth McFarlane isn't in it.
13. Blade II - It's only as I write these out I've realised I stuck all the Del Toro stuff together. Blade II is worth seeing, like all his stuff, just try not to think about it too hard.
14. V for Vendetta - t's the tone and the lead performance from Weaving that you're really after here, the theme is a little on the nose compared to the more ambiguous nature of the book. Not really an action film, which I wasn't expecting.
15. Batman (1989)
16. The Roceteer
17. The Mask
18. Superman Returns - It's the best Superman film since 1980, which given there have been five attempts is really a bit sad. Kevin Spacey carries this film, but it's a well crafted thing.
19. League of Extroadinary Gentlemen - I love the premise so much that the nostalgia goggles are lifting this higher up than it really should be. Mainly suffers from a bad script, but the ideas are too fun not to enjoy, and it knows how to stick a payoff in the climax for each of its many characters.
20. Blade Trinity - One idea for a film is to have basically a retread of the first Blade but admittedly without as convincing a villain. Another idea is to have Ryan Reynolds wisecracking for 90 minutes. Both these are ok ideas for a film, for some inexplicable reason they went with both.
21. The Shadow
22. Swamp Thing
23. Batman (1966)
24. Tank Girl
25. Hulk - If Tank Girl is the worst film I liked, Hulk is the best film I didn't like. The problem is it's boring. No worse than that, but it's a crime when you have the Hulk.
26. Daredevil - while it's fun to list the numerous ways in which Matt Murdock disbars himself from practising law, the Netflix series puts this film to shame. And that's not an enormous bar.
27. Judge Dredd
28. Elektra - I don't think that this is as bad as the 10% RT rating would have you believe, but like the Hulk, it's just tedious in places. I like the themes, I like the imagery, just stop being so god damn serious.
29. Ghost Rider - Kind of the opposite problem. It is light-hearted enough and has some entertaining stuff from Nick Cage, it just makes no sense.
30. Spawn
31. Spider-man 3 - The second most disappointing film of my teen years. You all know what's wrong with it, obviously
32. The Phantom
33. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Another mid-2000s superhero sequel that slightly outdid its predecessor while keeping the same style and tone. Unlike the other two, the original was shite.
34. Batman Forever
35. The Crow: City of Angels
36. X-Men: The Last Stand - **** YOU MOVIE YOU WERE EVEN WORSE THAN I REMEMBERED. God, what a waste.
37. Fantastic Four - It's dumb as hell, is the long and short of the issue. It's particularly hard to watch Captain America being a dickhead for 90 minutes.
38. Superman 3
39. The Punisher (2004) - I spent most of this thinking 'at least it's better than the other Punisher film' but at the end of it I still couldn't really think why.
40. Batman Returns
41. The Punisher (1989)
42. Return of Swamp Thing
43. Howard the Duck
44. Barb Wire
45. Superman IV
46. Catwoman - Unsubscribe please
47. Batman & Robin
48. Supergirl
49. Son of the Mask - It took a lot of effort. They tried very, very hard. But they made a film worse than Supergirl. They made a film worse than anything I've ever seen. If I had been in a cinema for this, I'd have walked out and most likely driven straight into a wall. It is a punishment to watch this.
50. Steel - I don't for a moment believe this is even worse than Son of the Mask, but I still can't find a way to watch it, which given some of the crap I've sat through, is a bit special.
1. Batman Begins - Fight me. It's the best one. Everything in this is Nolan being a meticulous as ever, except so much of it is about character. And uniquely among Batman films, it's actually about Batman.
2. X-men 2 - This is the only film that actually does the business with what the X-men idea can offer. The allegory is there, but it's in the backdrop of a proper story that wastes none of its parts and has great supporting actors (Cox, Cumming) as well as Ian McKellen chewing the scenery, rather than just going for that.
3. The Dark Knight - You don't need me to tell you why TDK is good. It's shitting amazing. The only nitpicks I have are being a bit subplot heavy and Batman being a secondary character in his own film.
4. Spider-Man 2 - Before this list I thought this might be my #1. Excellent performances and some great memorable moments. There's maybe a bit of the goofier parts of the script that haven't aged so well, and it's still not quite as good as the Gamecube tie in game for some reason.
5. Blade - It rocks my socks. It's awesome.
6. The Crow
7. X-men - It's very similar to its sequel except less good, which makes it a bit dodgy by comparison. Still a very solid film with a good script and good performances. I have no idea how they managed to put that cast together given the state of comic book films in the 90s.
8. Spider-Man - Much like the above, it's easier to see it for its flaws than its successes because its sequel largely eradicates the flaws. It's sillier than I remembered, though that's not really a bad thing.
9. Superman II
10. Superman
11. Hellboy II - The Golden Army - I can't see this is one of the best films there is but nothing else exists quite like it. Del Toro at his very Del Toroiest. On the one hand, wildly creative, on the other, kinda childish. On the one hand, stunning visuals, on the other, Seth McFarlane. No idea really.
12. Hellboy - Matches the tone of its sequel but goes for a much more grounded gothic idea rather than the wild pans-labyrith-meets-dirty-harry craziness of the other one. You still get to fight steampunk nazi wizards, but Wolfenstein did that so it's not exactly mental any more. On the plus side, Seth McFarlane isn't in it.
13. Blade II - It's only as I write these out I've realised I stuck all the Del Toro stuff together. Blade II is worth seeing, like all his stuff, just try not to think about it too hard.
14. V for Vendetta - t's the tone and the lead performance from Weaving that you're really after here, the theme is a little on the nose compared to the more ambiguous nature of the book. Not really an action film, which I wasn't expecting.
15. Batman (1989)
16. The Roceteer
17. The Mask
18. Superman Returns - It's the best Superman film since 1980, which given there have been five attempts is really a bit sad. Kevin Spacey carries this film, but it's a well crafted thing.
19. League of Extroadinary Gentlemen - I love the premise so much that the nostalgia goggles are lifting this higher up than it really should be. Mainly suffers from a bad script, but the ideas are too fun not to enjoy, and it knows how to stick a payoff in the climax for each of its many characters.
20. Blade Trinity - One idea for a film is to have basically a retread of the first Blade but admittedly without as convincing a villain. Another idea is to have Ryan Reynolds wisecracking for 90 minutes. Both these are ok ideas for a film, for some inexplicable reason they went with both.
21. The Shadow
22. Swamp Thing
23. Batman (1966)
24. Tank Girl
25. Hulk - If Tank Girl is the worst film I liked, Hulk is the best film I didn't like. The problem is it's boring. No worse than that, but it's a crime when you have the Hulk.
26. Daredevil - while it's fun to list the numerous ways in which Matt Murdock disbars himself from practising law, the Netflix series puts this film to shame. And that's not an enormous bar.
27. Judge Dredd
28. Elektra - I don't think that this is as bad as the 10% RT rating would have you believe, but like the Hulk, it's just tedious in places. I like the themes, I like the imagery, just stop being so god damn serious.
29. Ghost Rider - Kind of the opposite problem. It is light-hearted enough and has some entertaining stuff from Nick Cage, it just makes no sense.
30. Spawn
31. Spider-man 3 - The second most disappointing film of my teen years. You all know what's wrong with it, obviously
32. The Phantom
33. Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - Another mid-2000s superhero sequel that slightly outdid its predecessor while keeping the same style and tone. Unlike the other two, the original was shite.
34. Batman Forever
35. The Crow: City of Angels
36. X-Men: The Last Stand - **** YOU MOVIE YOU WERE EVEN WORSE THAN I REMEMBERED. God, what a waste.
37. Fantastic Four - It's dumb as hell, is the long and short of the issue. It's particularly hard to watch Captain America being a dickhead for 90 minutes.
38. Superman 3
39. The Punisher (2004) - I spent most of this thinking 'at least it's better than the other Punisher film' but at the end of it I still couldn't really think why.
40. Batman Returns
41. The Punisher (1989)
42. Return of Swamp Thing
43. Howard the Duck
44. Barb Wire
45. Superman IV
46. Catwoman - Unsubscribe please
47. Batman & Robin
48. Supergirl
49. Son of the Mask - It took a lot of effort. They tried very, very hard. But they made a film worse than Supergirl. They made a film worse than anything I've ever seen. If I had been in a cinema for this, I'd have walked out and most likely driven straight into a wall. It is a punishment to watch this.
50. Steel - I don't for a moment believe this is even worse than Son of the Mask, but I still can't find a way to watch it, which given some of the crap I've sat through, is a bit special.
Bahnz
Well-known member
All of the Tubby Maguire Spiderman movies are carp (though the third one is pretty damn hilarious if you've had a couple drinks). Homecoming is the only good Spiderman movie ever made.
Disappointed this list doesn't include the 1990 Captain America film, where Captain America's secret super-power is to steal people's cars.
Disappointed this list doesn't include the 1990 Captain America film, where Captain America's secret super-power is to steal people's cars.
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