Girl Trouble

[vcs]

Ever seen someone do the whole "you two are cute together" to people who are flirting?

No

Hendrix in this thread is coaching people on how to run marathons before they've learnt how to stand up.

 

[honestbharani]

vcs.. thought you were in Bangalore, the hook up capital of India? What the hell are you doing man?

 

[vcs]

Is it? Can't say it's helped my cause.

 

[zorax]

I've heard about how some attempted relationships pan out in these conservative Muslim communities from my friends, and my advice genuinely is do not pursue it until and unless you are able to take care of you and the girl. Because it ends up badly more often than not, and she will suffer worse than you will.

 

[trundler]

No

Hendrix in this thread is coaching people on how to run marathons before they've learnt how to stand up.

Yeah, literally none of that applies. No one will ever say we're cute together when they're not very discretely damning us to hell. And how do you hook up when you can't even sit together without causing a row. This is all taking part in Pakistan and I'm just really glad to have a like-minded fried, which is a deal I don't intend on ****ing up.

 

[trundler]

Is it? Can't say it's helped my cause.

I hope it's not the curse of computer science.

 

[trundler]

I've heard about how some attempted relationships pan out in these conservative Muslim communities from my friends, and my advice genuinely is do not pursue it until and unless you are able to take care of you and the girl. Because it ends up badly more often than not, and she will suffer worse than you will.

I'm still chick repellent romantically

The nature of our relationship is that why l know exactly how she feels about stuff and what he has to go through with because of it. It's a bit like looking at myself from a couple of years ago. And apparently I'm a very good listener so it's gone from there.

Learn to read, ****ers.

 

[Daemon]

Even worse, they'll say you've been teaching her bad stuff

 

[trundler]

Even worse, they'll say you've been teaching her bad stuff

Now this a legitimate concern but I hope neither of us is dumb enough to let that out. Can't even tell anyone why we get along.

 

[SillyCowCorner1]

.... before they've learnt how to stand up.

We're making progress.

 

[zorax]

You're not going to be able to maintain a platonic friendship with her in that environment, so I suggest put it on ice and take it slow unless you're ready to deal with the consequences

Things will be better once you get to Uni

 

[trundler]

Hey I'm not like Raj Koothrapali or anything. My official stance is that of blaming society for my inadequacies and never really giving it a go. As an aside, there's a bloke in my class who appears to malfunction like a machine b that's been doused in water every time he has the most minimal interaction with a girl.

 

[Daemon]

Now this a legitimate concern but I hope neither of us is dumb enough to let that out. Can't even tell anyone why we get along.

I mean it kinda happened to me, and I don't even live in a country like Pakistan.

My gf and I were muslim, grew up in SIngapore. Somewhere along the way when we were kids, we stopped believing. Her Dad, who's super conservative, found out that she didn't care about Islam and found a couple of pictures of her wearing a bikini a year after we were dating (which he already didn't approve of) and then blamed me for influencing her. He also stalked me and found a picture of me hugging a doggo which he said proved I was bad for her.

He was a big part of the reason why she ran off to work in the UK, which has pretty much put a massive dent in our 5+ year relationship.

I intensely hate large parts of the religion and culture surrounding it.

 

[trundler]

You're not going to be able to maintain a platonic friendship with her in that environment, so I suggest put it on ice and take it slow unless you're ready to deal with the consequences

Things will be better once you get to Uni

I can't bail on her. It'd be crushing to get to know me and then have me disappear. But for real, I've sort of become her support system at this point. Whoops.

 

[trundler]

I mean it kinda happened to me, and I don't even live in a country like Pakistan.

My gf and I were muslim, grew up in SIngapore. Somewhere along the way when we were kids, we stopped believing. Her Dad, who's super conservative, found out that she didn't care about Islam and found a couple of pictures of her wearing a bikini a year after we were dating (which he already didn't approve of) and then blamed me for influencing her. He also stalked me and found a picture of me hugging a doggo which he said proved I was bad for her.

He was a big part of the reason why she ran off to work in the UK, which has pretty much put a massive dent in our 5+ year relationship.

I intensely hate large parts of the religion and culture surrounding it.

This is depressingly relatable. Thanks for the story, Daemon. Religious nuts are ****ing crazy.

 

[SillyCowCorner1]

So it's indirectly not girl trouble...just some deeply conservative people who disapprove of taboo(?) behavior.

I find it childish. It hard to follow/swallow/wallow.

I used to have a crush on the neighbor's daughter. She's a good girl. I see here everyday. But unfortunately had the hots for Jasper, who was in the same class with her in school. They eloped a few years ago...when both were touching 18. Jasper (keyboard autocorrected to Jasprit lol) lives 4 villages away ffs. Ahhhh life. Just beautiful.

 

[hendrix]

Yeah, literally none of that applies. No one will ever say we're cute together when they're not very discretely damning us to hell. And how do you hook up when you can't even sit together without causing a row. This is all taking part in Pakistan and I'm just really glad to have a like-minded fried, which is a deal I don't intend on ****ing up.

I've heard about how some attempted relationships pan out in these conservative Muslim communities from my friends, and my advice genuinely is do not pursue it until and unless you are able to take care of you and the girl. Because it ends up badly more often than not, and she will suffer worse than you will.

This is depressingly relatable. Thanks for the story, Daemon. Religious nuts are ****ing crazy.

Does this depend on age? I didn't realise how young trundler was.

re: Muslim countries - well, I've never been to Pakistan but there are some places I've been to that are outwardly very conservative yet there's a lot that happens behind closed doors, at least between adults. But that's from the perspective of someone who doesn't have to deal with the consequences so I guess take that with a grain of salt.

But yeah I guess probably doesn't apply to trundler.

 

[zorax]

I can't bail on her. It'd be crushing to get to know me and then have me disappear. But for real, I've sort of become her support system at this point. Whoops.

Probably the safest way you both can maintain a friendship without getting into deeper trouble is to avoiding meeting each other unless you're absolutely certain no one will see. Try to keep your physical interactions to group social events. Keep most of your conversations to text/email/snapchat/tiktok/whatever digital means exist that old people and outsiders can not stalk.

It's tough having friendships with the opposite *** in such scenarios. When I was in high school, my sister and I got told off for hanging out together in a public area of school alone. My sister. Their reasoning was that to anyone who didn't know we were related, they would just see a boy hanging out alone with a girl somewhere in school, and that is unaccepted. **** is crazy.

 

[harsh.ag]

I can't bail on her. It'd be crushing to get to know me and then have me disappear. But for real, I've sort of become her support system at this point. Whoops.

This is not true. Repeat - this is not true. She has plenty of other options for this.

 

[sledger]

Even if she didn't that wouldn't necessarily change that much anyway tbh