Is forgiving others a sign of being weak?

[Kirkut]

There is this person I know, we were friends few years ago. He would not respect my personal boundaries and would be too domineering in behaviour, this gradually led to me ending the friendship. Few years later, he adds me on facebook, linkedin and also asks for my number. I do not hold grudges for too long and accepted the requests, even gave him my number for the sake of being professional (I still didn't consider him to be a friend), and he still behaved like an asshole after so many years which led me to block him.

Forgiving others comes to me naturally, while this character trait is lauded in the books the same cannot be said in the real world where very few understand and appreciate this trait. I sometimes feel like a doormat and would rather choose to be a jerk even if it feels unnatural.

 

[SillyCowCorner1]

Seems like even though you knew what you were stepping into, you still chose to on the part of being 'professional'.

You should have established a red line for him.

Forgiving comes when both parties are cognizant of what the situation is

 

[Shri]

Unless sexual favors are involved, kick the **** out.

 

[Victor Ian]

Forgiving is not the same as cowering. Only the strong can forgive. That does not mean you have to take crap. It just means you are always ready to give the Crapper a chance to redeem themselves. For them to take that chance means that they must change.

 

[OverratedSanity]

There is this person I know, we were friends few years ago. He would not respect my personal boundaries and would be too domineering in behaviour, this gradually led to me ending the friendship. Few years later, he adds me on facebook, linkedin and also asks for my number. I do not hold grudges for too long and accepted the requests, even gave him my number for the sake of being professional (I still didn't consider him to be a friend), and he still behaved like an asshole after so many years which led me to block him.

Forgiving others comes to me naturally, while this character trait is lauded in the books the same cannot be said in the real world where very few understand and appreciate this trait. I sometimes feel like a doormat and would rather choose to be a jerk even if it feels unnatural.

Forgive him for what? If it's some specific incident where he was a **** to you, then sure. But if he's just a massive **** in general and you don't like him (which it seems like from your post) then just ignore him. Have no idea why anyone would want to maintain a friendship with someone you don't even like. Seems rather counter productive.

 

[hendrix]

 

[vogue]

Short answer is no it's a sign of strength not weakness on your part, you haven't condoned their ****** behaviour by forgiving it.

 

[Spark]

Forgiving is more a decision about yourself than about the other guy IMO. It doesn't behold you to anything behaviour wise, it just means you're less bitter about it.

 

[Gnske]

Only the weak and egotists succumb to forgiveness.

 

[Flem274*]

saw the title and thought this was cricsim pub for a moment

 

[Magrat Garlick]

saw the title and thought this was cricsim pub for a moment

more posh words here still, otherwise not much difference these days

 

[Daemon]

Forgiving is more a decision about yourself than about the other guy IMO. It doesn't behold you to anything behaviour wise, it just means you're less bitter about it.

Not necessarily true imo. If you're in a leadership position and communicating this sort of forgiveness all the time, people will walk all over you. And then it no longer becomes about yourself.

 

[Scarlett]

I would really think it depends on the severity and the nature of the incidents to say well this is forgivable and this isn’t, without knowing that information it’s very difficult to gage. Certainly looking at the description the friend is taking advantage of a good nature, so definitely get rid.
Suppose weakness would be more putting up with it and not doing anything at all.

 

[Howe_zat]

Forgiveness is about giving people another chance, not letting them be a dick to you.

It sounds like you just don't get on

 

[weldone]

Being rude to polite people, and being polite to rude people - are both unfair behaviors.

The first one is unfair to the other person; the second one is unfair to your own dignity and self-esteem.

 

[sledger]

Being rude to polite people, and being polite to rude people - are both unfair behaviors.

The first one is unfair to the other person; the second one is unfair to your own dignity and self-esteem.

Haha I bet this sounded really profound in your head.

 

[zorax]

you don't forgive people because you want to be strong or because you're weak

you forgive people when you realise that whatever it is they did doesn't really effect you anymore and you're not longer bothered by it

 

[Gnske]

you don't forgive people because you want to be strong or because you're weak

you forgive people when you realise that whatever it is they did doesn't really effect you anymore and you're not longer bothered by it

You forgive people when you give up, but this is more on track tbh.

How do you people not understand this? Would Caesar have been strong for forgiving Brutus and Cassius for shanking him? Would Watson be strong for forgiving the leader of the Nationalist Socialist German Workers Party?

The alpha male never forgets a slight.

 

[Lillian Thomson]

Haha I bet this sounded really profound in your head.

I thought it had been posted in the wrong thread.

Anyway forgiveness is easy. Doesn't mean you can't serve someone their liver on the end of a skewer at the same time.

 

[Shri]

You do know her.